Hi. We're back in Shelton, WA, taking care of my dad with dementia. It was a nice little break from this stress. If you've never cared for a loved one with dementia, you won't know how taxing it is.
I doubt I could make special trips to see friends. In fact I'm exhausted and although I've made plans to see some people dear to me, I need to go back and see family. So much family - I've seen a cousin I never knew, and his wife. I saw the new baby of my step sister's daughter (!?). I've been with both of my mom's uncles and had good, long talks with them, and one of their wives, who speaks German so that as nice.
My dad has invited his best friend over tomorrow to help me learn to crochet properly. She is older than he is, but so fond of him she cannot just drop his friendship due to dementia.
I'm so, so hot. My dad got a scam mail that he takes seriously when it warned him of the danger of his AC unit breaking and needing repair/replacement. I called that company and told them not to send anymore scam mails, but dad somehow remembers it and I cannot use the AC.
Thank goodness for Star Trek every night. And the fact that my dad is not aggressive, just the opposite, he's apologetic about his memory issues. It's aggravating and heartbreaking at the same time.
Lord let me be as kind and gracious when I lose my mind someday.
3 comments:
I am lucky that, although my dad is (temporarily?) in a really good care facility following a fall, his mental health is still quite strong for an 85-year-old guy who did some dumb stuff as a younger man, and he is still VERY social.
We were not so lucky with Jim's dad, whose dementia was disguised (by him) and denied (by his wife) for a long time. We did (finally) find a really nice memory-care facility located between Jim's stepmom's house and our house, so everybody visited almost every day. The care facility also improved his mental health for a while, because they were very good at making him eat vegetables and take his meds at proper intervals. He was never combative, and he was always happy to see me and Roo every day, but he clearly didn't know who we were or why we were there
:-(
I hope that you and your family are able to find a place like that when it's needed.
My dear late mother-in-law had dementia. Yes, it is exhausting. And amazing what they will fixate on remembering vs what their mind doesn't let them remember. What if you have a reputable HVAC company, maybe one your father remembers, call & schedule a "repair" visit? That might push the other event further back in your father's memory.
p.s. Long time reader of your blog. Only recently figuring out how to log in to leave comments.
At least the mud flats are *green* nothingness! Yukima is mostly brown and gray.
I am currently working on being more patient and less frustrated with memory issues that are occurring for my husband, so on the very edge of understanding your situation with your dad. It is exhausting, and you probably needed the trip to Northern California to refill your emotional bank account. Hopefully the family visits do as well, though they can sometimes result in withdrawals as well.
As for the air conditioner, could you have someone from the facility come do an “official” check, to ease his mind? Give him a technical looking certificate that it is operating correctly, so he has that for a physical reminder? Heat related illness and deaths were particularly high this summer, from the “heat dome” situation, especially among the most vulnerable who didn’t have AC.
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