She said that was some very nice training I was doing, asking him to stop, back half a step, lower his head before allowing him to walk forward.
She said the change in weather is to blame, but got on him as if nothing was wrong.
He was worried, and guess what, he did that balking thing that he'd started doing with Ani. Aha, but #4 knows how to handle that! She squeezed him forward and he remembered she knows what she's doing *lol* What a relief for me, I've never seen Mag test 4, and now I suspect she'll do the right thing.
So we're walking enjoying fabulous conversation and she suddenly freaks out. I mean twitching and yelling and struggling and trying to get out of her raincoat as fast as possible. I caught the word BEE and Mag flashed back to the times Ani's rain cape scared him to death. He lurched, threw his head to maximum height, eyes to maximum size, and I knew grabbing a rein would not be enough, it wasn't the 2 times he threw Ani, he was just gone. 4 recognized that the horse was about to flip out and she stopped pulling on her jacket and dismounted before removing it, searching for the bee.
She removed another layer and then I helped her look under her shirt. She thought for sure it was stuck in her clothes, but it wasn't. She said, "Did you hear that thing?" No, I heard nothing. But it stung her right by her ear, and it looked pretty painful. I gave her some medicine.
And then she did the thing normal people do, she just got right back on the horse. I was certain he'd object, but he held it together. She said, "From now on if I want to remove my jacket, I'll get off!" I should clarify that I'd warned her against wearing a rain jacket - she knows Mag's history, but she chose to take the risk.
Many bicyclists squeezed by us today on trail, and dog walkers and families with children on minature bikes, which Mag thought were strange.
As I was composing this, a photo popped up on my cloud server and since it was the topic of our conversation, I wanted to share it below:
The OR was the only place at the hospital where I could make myself useful.
4 was pretty disappointed I didn't ride, but I'd had enough after the street panic and near disastrous bee incident.
I promised her next time.
The image below is from a few years back. I love it cuz he's fussing but his eye is so sleepy. Mag's superpower is being OK with being tied up anywhere. Someyear I'll tie him in the Aldi parking lot, and make him carry my groceries home, as I did with Baasha. Until now, any tree anywhere is OK.
13 comments:
He is so beautiful!
Its a good idea to get on, even when you are fearful, if only for a few minutes. Its about retraining your body to tolerate the stress. There is no way to think your way out of this, and observing others riding will only get you so far. Baby steps.
There are many boarders (past and present) at my barn that one day became fearful of riding their horse. They would hire trainers, coaches, change horses or tack, they would hire riders to show their horses ... and some of them became a permanent audience to their horse. Some would start riding but only when conditions were perfect. And some decided to quit altogether. In some of these cases it was a bad match. But more often it was the rider that had not developed the ability to tolerate stress and uncertainty.
Im sure you will agree with me that there is absolutely nothing certain about horses. Even on a weekday when the trails are empty, even on a hot muggy day when the horse is tired, even in an empty field when you can see for miles that you are alone. We accept as riders the imperfection of our horses and ourselves in a world that is constantly handing us surprises. We learn that most of the times we can sit that spook, that usually we can stop that bolt, and that usually our horses will eventually settle. We can not completely despook a horse but we can certainly improve the control of our own emotions and tension under stress and begin to ignore the scary corner until eventually over time and much repetition it recedes.
Horses serve us an allegory on life every day without a care for tomorrow or the ambiguous notion of future and potential. We are the ones with the plans and ambitions. If we can only embody the now and present nature of the horse and put that foot in the stirrup without considering the “what-ifs”. We can deal with what life serves us, and we may find that our horses will be with us too.
We are stronger when we say yes.
Do some horse trainers say, "Face the fear and step into the horse trailer, no matter the what-ifs" for a horse who is suffering fear?
What if we could do to ourselves what the good trainers do with horses?
I think many trainers would ask for the horse to put one foot in the trailer. The try is more important than the result. They would then encourage the horse to back out, graze some grass and try again. John Lyons had a great technique that built on this, one hoof at a time. It also taught the horse how to back out of the trailer with minimal stress.
For the first time - here - I heard the term; "Old Lady Frights". I thought it was a joke, but no, it's real for many. Old or not... I've been lucky - the only time I had fear to overcome was after my femur was broken. The stress was so real, I mounted Jas & started crying. It took a while & a good mentor.
I'm not sure how I feel about facing the fear (as a rider).
We know, when we insist that the fearful horse get onto the trailer that he will most likely be safe in there.
But do we know--CAN we know--that if a fearful rider gets onto a horse that they will be safe? I'm not sure.
This is supposed to be fun. Some days it isn't much fun, but if it isn't fun MOST days, should we keep pushing ourselves?
I rode a horse for 8 years and he scared me every single time I got near him. I didn't realize how much fun I wasn't having until the first time I got on Fiddle...and she, so green she glowed in the dark, did not scare me. I got off her and went to the owner of the horse who scared me and quit, that day. At some point, life is too short for that much fear. Fiddle occasionally does something I don't like, but she still doesn't scare me, despite being enormous and powerful and opinionated and a Dragon.
It's something to think about: how much fear is a good learning opportunity, and how much is wasting time that could be fun otherwise?
100% agree with Nat D because I saw this in myself. I was buying new horses left and right and none of them were right for me. I couldn't bring myself to ride them. After trying 6 horses in the space of 2 years, I realized it was me, not the horses at all. As I've gotten older, my fear of not bouncing is worse. I don't ride anymore. It sucks. I stopped after me and my last horse almost got hit on the side of the rode. I'm sure I'd be fine in a group of people but by myself...nope.
Lytha, I agree with all of the above. I think that Mag is a good horse for the right rider who has the confidence to ride him, but I think you struggle with confidence as much as fear. When you let bad riders like Ani (yes, she is a bad rider) onto a sensitive horse like Mag, they immediately develop bad habits, and that one experience can make a bad mark on a horse. Arabians can be spooky horses, and they want their riders to have confidence and skill; but with a rider like Ani, they want to take over and then the world also becomes a scary place. I saw this with my sensitive Arabian. Part of me wonders if you should consider selling Mag to #4? I hate to even bring it up, but as the others said, sometimes a relationship can become corrupted to the point where it is not repairable. I honestly think it is a mistake to let Ani on your horse.
I disagree with Kitty Bo about sell Mag! You are doing great with him. Once #4 forces you to ride and then brings her horse to ride with you, your world will change. If I had such a place to ride as you do, I probably wouldn't have stopped riding. I do agree with Kitty Bo to stop letting Ani ride him though. While the fact that Mag is letting her ride, she's going to eventually get over confident on him and that won't be good with her being such a novice rider.
Tina, thank you. I do have hope, otherwise I wouldn't be blogging about this. I had a special moment today with Mag today at the pasture. I was standing there amazed by the way the wind moved our hayfield like "Amber waves of grain" wave after wave as if I were tripping on acid, and I glanced over at Mag, grazing near the donkey. He threw up his head and came to me, "You wanted me?" What a horse.
I'm curious what will happen with Ani. I will not let her go out without me. I plan on telling her to "just take the reins and steer" and see if she can do that. If not, he's getting experience giving a pony ride and that's not a bad thing, when I'm there. Unless she undergoes a riding transformation I will not let her ride without me by her side.
There is a book called "Your horse needs a bombproof rider" about a lady who lost her nerve to ride her bombproof horse. Horse after horse she realized hers was fine, it was just her problem to fix. And she did it in steps as you'd teach a terrified horse to get into a horse trailer (for Mag, that's the case). It's not about forcing a horse in, and not about forcing the rider. It's the steps in between. Pressure/release that heal deep-set fear.
Connie, I'm so surprised to hear about that, with your amazing Jas!! The most glorious horse in ridecamp.
Honestly, I do not want you to sell Mag. I think you have a very good relationship with him. I just wanted to offer that thought up because I have seen so many people struggle with a horse they loved but didn't have confidence to ride. You have a history of being a good rider in your past. I know that the older we get, the harder it can be to maintain that confidence, but I hope you can regain it. You love Arabians, and they can be a challenging breed, but you do understand them. You aren't some naive, wide-eyed romanticist, and I've always applauded you for that. I am really pulling for you with this new trainer!
By fluke I found this. You might enjoy reading it. I found some “glue” on my horse today after witnessing a disturbing incident. This article gave me pause. https://horsesunderourskin.wordpress.com/2020/06/22/a-taste-of-honey/
KB, you've been with me so long. I had a dream last night I was cantering a white Arabian through The Butchart Gardens in Victoria, BC. It was absolutely salient, I was trotting between the ponds, and then I asked for the canter, and got one of those rare perfect canter departs. I remember thinking, "He'll probably buck" but no. It was perfect. That feeling is something deep inside of me. Thanks for your faith in me.
ND, That author, as soon as I started reading I thought, "She's a psychologist" . That's my degree. I appreciate people who re-label the current horse friendly terms/phrases. I also appreciate a cowboy to introduced a "MORE-natural way" of horsemanship. He did a good job. We learned to mimic horsey behavior. To the relief of horses who would have had it much worse.
I recently read an article about how Liberty is not really "liberty" cuz what compells the horse to run around beside us? Force? Bribe, Negative Reinforcement? Yes.
Anyway thank you for the great blog, she reminds me of Anna Blake. I look forward to reading much more!
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