German farriers and Ikea's graphic designers

I have this new farrier named Viktor from Lithuania, who comes to do my donkey. He brings along his son Felix to help, but usually is done in only 10 minutes and doesn't need the help.

I have to say I call him "Wikter" in my mind cuz isn't that how they say it over there? Cuz if we ever live in America, we'll be spelling our last name with a V just so the Americans get it right.

I lost my good farrier to ? reasons and recently have used Seli but I've become dissatisfied with her work, esp. with Bellis. I've had Bellis x-rayed so I know where her coffin bone is. Yet Seli only rasps a little from the top only (!) and leaves Bellis so long that I've had people mention it.

The last time Seli did Mag, his hooves looked like they needed a trim 3 days later. WTH.

J came to the gate with both my animals crowding toward him affectionately and I asked him, "Should I be honest? Should I tell his guy that Mag kicks randomly?"

By this time both Mag an Bellis had their heads over the gate and Mag was recieving a luxurious head massage from J.

"Honest? Yes, totally? No."

OK then.

***

So Viktor came today to trim both animals for the first time. I had Mag in the stall haltered with lead rope over his back munching hay, waiting his turn. Bellis was tied up eating hay from the net.

Viktor starts working on Bellis when to my surprise the boy walks into the stall and starts petting Mag and working on his feet! What now?

Our stall is not big enough to trim hooves. The fronts, perhaps, but the backs will be too dark to see.

As soon as I saw what was happening I said to them, "I have to warn you this horse kicks out unexpectedly, at farriers, at me, and at random things."

Felix just froze and some foreign language went over my head between them.

Felix refused to do Mag's feet at that point. Which is smart of the kid.

So they switched - Viktor came into the stall to finish up Mag's fronts, and Felix polished the donkey's lovely hooves off. Wow they do good work!

Then they switched the animals' positions - we tied Mag up and put the donkey in the stall.

Mag was wary of both of them, to be honest, and when Viktor started working on his hinds, Mag tried to pull away from him.

To which Viktor shouted FREUND! at him and then said, "I can also speak Polish to him, since he's from Poland." He said a few words in what I assume is Polish and when Mag pulled again, he shouted, FREUND! again, using his leverage to not let Mag get his leg away.

And it worked. Mag realized that pulling away was not worth it, and he relaxed.

I think it's funny how if it's a boy horse, vets and farriers and riding instructors will yell FREUND at them (friend) when they're naughty. If it's a girl...well can you guess?

FRAUELEIN! Which cracks me up cuz that word has become taboo in Germany and you'll only hear it when someone yells at their misbehaving female pet. *giggle*

Viktor wanted to give Mag a fair chance to stand politely and asked his son to whisk away the flies, including a couple of determined horse flies, one of which bit me!

I've never seen someone on "fly duty" before during a trim/shoeing. Felix ran his gloved hands all over Mag's legs and body constantly, which Mag seemed to understand and wasn't alarmed by. (I bet some horses would prefer the flies to this intrusiveness!)

I did my best to remain completely calm because I knew if I was worried about them getting hurt, they probably would. Mag shut his eyes halfway and gave up resisting after only 3 attempts.

Out of the blue Viktor asked why I had taken the first aid class, that's why I missed his last visit,  and J had told him where I was. Actually that's interesting that he noted that and recalled that, from the  13th of  July. Most people can't keep their clients straight, but he knew where I was that day.

I told him I have a dream of becoming a medic, but was kicked out of class for a foreign diploma.

I speak very clear, simple German with him because I know my accent does not make it easy for him to understand me, him not being German.

He agreed that it's ridiculous that a high school diploma was preferred over a univerisity.

And to be honest, J sent his (hopefully) final flaming email to the medic training company and has the law on our side after all our research. I am amazed at his veracity pursuing this injustice to me. And we both agreed on the freaking irony of the situation: I was kicked out of class because the director said he'd be liable by law by admitting me, but when J researched this, it's not his place to judge my pre-requisites (documentation), it's the state's. So by claiming to be avoiding legal penalties, he ended up breaking the law. Only the state can give the no or go to a student in this type of class.

OK that was a tangent but since it happened today I had to include it. I would not want to be on the receiving end of the email that J sent to the director today! I'm so grateful to have a husband who will stand up to injustice for me. Now if we could only get something from our Delta Airlines SNAFU.

I asked Felix if he can speak English (yes, he said, in school), but saw that he was to shy to try with me, as many kids are.

But after I shook Viktor's hand and gave him the 70Euros (for 20 minutes' work!) I went to Felix and also shook his hand. (Shaking hands is a thing in Germany, you just get used to it.) I said to him in English, with lots of hand motions helping out, "Thank you for shooing away the flies from my horse! That was very nice of you!" (Shooing not being a word I should have expected anyone here to understand, ugh, hence the hand motions.) He grinned at me and I said, "Bye bye!" and he said "Bye!" Probably the first time in his life.

Look at me, teaching the locals how to use English slang!

I like the way Viktor just set his weight against Mag and refused to let Mag resist, in comparison to Seli, a slip of a girl, who has no chance. Seli normally just lets go, pats him, and picks it up again. Both methods are viable, I just think Viktor's is the more productive one.

Hrm, what to say to Seli.....cuz I really want to go ride her Haflinger Momo again!


     

Another pic from the past - this is 2016 when I boarded Mag for 3 months in Wuppertal. They had this great big concrete double stall I could use to put him in while I cleaned his stall and made his steaming hot beet pulp. It was soooooo cold, walking him to his paddock was a very slow process because I'd hit ice patches under the snow. 

This is why he has both his cooler on, and a pile of old towels because of the brrrrrrrr....

OH one more thing.....

J said today I should have my own YouTube channel where I expose the flaws in IKEA catalogs. Because we spent the first hour of our day in bed today laughing over the ridiculous photoshopping and....not-photoshopping? Like, really, Ikea.......Does anyone reading this know what I mean?

Funnily, the owner of property 72 adjacent to us, the hippy chick, had her x come over today to literally cut free the camping trailer that had been there so long it had sunk deeply into the ground, pressed down by blackberry brambles. 

Unbeknownst to him, he needed a shovel to just get the thing above ground again, and rang our bell. Did you know, no one knocks in Germany? It's all about the bells.

Although I know him, he addressed me formally (ugh) and asked forgiveness for disturbing me.

And then asked for a shovel, which I gave him.

Later returning to bed with the Ikea catalog and my husband, I said, "Can you believe he had the nerve to interrupt our critique of the far-fetched reality that is an Ikea catalog? I mean, we're working through it page by page here!!" 

My man agreed it was time to get out of bed. 

But seriously, have you seen the Ikea catalogs? Do you know they're designed by graphic designers? So.....nohting is real!  (Also, our entire house is outfitted in Ikea. Well, what else?)