Otto

I'm gonna call him Otto, the 4th grader I rode the bus with the last two days. Otto is the default name of every blond-haired blue-eyed German boy, IMO.

Yesterday I was lucky to catch the 4 PM bus but it was packed with kids, cuz in Germany, city busses are school busses. *sigh* I clamored onto a rail and stood directly beside the bus driver as the boy chatted with him, "Sunday is Autumn break, and I'm flying to Poland!"

The driver was Polish, and they had a great time talking the entire ride home.

Today I got super lucky and caught that same bus, with Otto standing right there by the driver again, but a different driver. I greeted Otto again happily.

Sweaty and exhausted from a full day's work, I was done with people for the day.

Otto, instead of engaging the bus driver, engaged me in conversation, and in a very grown-up manner asked me, "So, are you just getting off work?"

I was stunned and contemplated what to tell him. "Work" is not the word for an internship, but I'm too old to be an intern, surely that would confuse him.

I told him the truth and his eyes widened.

Then I went back to him, "Yesterday you said you were a genius in languages."

Then I switched to English, "How many languages do you speak?"

He stared at me blankly like all the blank stares I give people very day of my life.

He's in the 4th grade he's had YEARS of English by now.

"So, 3 languages? 4 languages?"

Um...

So back to German. I let him explain which languages and he got his confidence back.

I re-visited yesterday's topic, his trip to Poland, his first time flying "that long" above the clouds.

I said, "You said you love to fly, but I should say, it's not always fun - for me to go home, for example, takes over 20 hours." He blinked at me completely confused.

Perhaps he did not notice my accent?

The kid never asked where I'm from, and that's OK, it reminds me to work on my social skills and be sure to reciprocate friendliness appropriately.

He changed the subject, "Where do you work?"

I said, "I don't WORK there, but I observe in the hospital every day. And to be honest, I could never do that as a job. It's too boring. Everything that happens, has happened before, nothing new. In fact, when someone suffers a heart attack, that is the most fun we have, to save them."

OK....I probably crossed some line with that.......considering he's in the 4th grade and gonna go home and tell his parents about me.

I told him I'd probably never see him again, but he told me his address, and he's on the same street as Ani.

So, I said, "We're neighbors."

He didn't ask where I live, and I didn't tell.

Fare well, Otto.

***

I had a really hard day today. I was assigned to a nurse who was completely different from others I'd worked with - she was absolutely pedantic and did everything by the freaking literal book, in comparison to everyone else.

Why oh why had they not assigned me to Kari FIRST? Then I could let my guard down as the other nurses somehow get through their days without such exactness.

She was, thankfully, polite to me all day, but has the teaching voice of a teacher, the "up-voice" you've heard about, where every statement she speaks ends in a higher vocal tone than the beginning.

Musical and condescending, but I loved how the patients enjoyed it, cuz finally, they got to hear, non-stop, what was happening with them. "First we do thisssssssssssssss, and then we do thisssssssssssssss."

Before our first patient she politely told me she'd decline to assume what I'd been taught so far. OK then. Not bad.

I agreed with her, and said, "Because every nurse here does things slightly differently."

She didn't like to hear that, and told me to prepare an infusion.

Immediately correcting me, "THE STICKER!" You must put a sticker on the bottle to show the date and time and your initials!" Seriously,  no other nurse does that, that is why I wished they'd started me with her. I smiled, "This is what I mean when I said, 'Every nurse is slightly different.'" and she replied, "I doubt very much that Andrea does this any differently!"

I thought, "Well, Kari, you haven't spent much time watching how other nurses work." *sigh*

I spent the entire day with Kari and it wasn't so bad, it was just ultra pedantic. But she speaks very clear German which I appreciated.

Then there came the moment the anesthesiologist and Kari wanted me, myself! to shove a larynx tube into a patient's throat. I thought I'd only have to prepare the stuff, but ...OK.

It's such a trip to work on real live patients - yesterday I did assisted breathing on one as the nurses watched my timing, volume, and perception of the patient and the monitor. After 15 minutes my left hand was killing me from keeping the C-grip on the patient's mask and jaw. Wow.

I really learned to enjoy drawing the medicines, mixing meds with kochsalz (saline?) and putting the Propofol (sleep med) into action.

I have a lot to learn about the way the syringes work with the different meds bottles, the suction that refuses to let the meds into my syringe. They make it look so easy.

You cannot learn all that in one day!

We had a complete knee replacement (?) and it was truly awful to hear, as it occurred.

My favorite thing of all, if the anesthesiologist will allow, is the documentation. The computer-read paper with the data of the procedure.

I long for nothing more than to sit at the monitor and draw the symbols for arterial BP or vein BP on the chart. Every five minutes.

I'm not technically allowed to do that, cuz that is serious stuff that requires professional attention, constantly.

I learned how to draw the symbols every 5 minutes and was corrected when I started to write down the inspiration/expiration values. I want to do more!

Then I got it.

This is why I love the paperwork so much.

I'm a Technical Writer.

Technical/Medical recordkeeping is a delight for me!

I also enjoy cleaning everything up afterwards, and comforting the patient before and after.

***

The people in OR are so much calmer and kinder than in the other departments.

I baked banana walnut muffins for them yesterday (walnuts we have in abundance from our trees) and at least 4 nurses came up to me and said, "Yummy muffins." I was touched, cuz banana muffins are a purely American thing. A real risk, I took!

***

I appreciated Kari despite her teacherly ways, and how she gently asked, if I'd stay to help disinfect things on the end of our shift. As if she needed to ask, of course I will!

Then we were done, and I touched her arm and said, "It was fun, today, working with you."

I do not say that with everyone!

She said, "And with you!"

*sigh*

***

It's never as bad, in the OR, as in ER or ICU. But I hate the constraints of the uniform, not being able to leave for even a moment, if I'm in green. In fact, I had to take a break at 10 AM cuz my feet were killing me (I'm not used to standing mostly still for hours) and Kari was actually upset with me, "You must tell me when you leave! I looked for you! And I told you when I needed to go to the WC!" Yah, that's only fair. I'm just used to a lot more freedom.

I am overwhelmingly convinced that hospitals are not for me. The work is the same, day after day, and the personal conflict is high. Stress is also there, but not as much in the OR.

I cannot grasp the personality of a person who would aspire for that, as a job!

***

I made friends with Huriya, the Turkish cleaning lady, today. She kept addressing me in the formal language, cuz apparently she's accustomed to it. I was like, 'Du, du, DU!" to her, "Talk to me like a friend!" But she would not! She's the cleaning lady. I told her, "I'm no nurse! I'm an intern! I know nothing, I'm just watching!" she still called me Sie. *sigh*

I hope to see her tomorrow. I've never seen a nurse speak to her. It took me a while to learn her name, but I'm ready next time I see her. She looked at me so uncomprehendingly...