My first day in the ER at a hospital

I couldn't even sleep past 4:14 AM this morning, I was so nervous. I got up before the sun, which is fully wrong, and tried to eat a breakfast I could not eat, so I packed it in my bag for lunch.

I arrived 30 minutes early to my shift and finally at 8, the lady showed me where I could get my scrubs. Which I call "clown clothes" and I am glad there are no full-length mirrors in hospitals cuz I don't need to see that.

The first 3 hours I was sullen, actually pissed off, cuz no one seemed to need or want me to help/observe, which is why I'm there. I was humiliated and useless. The freaking secretary of the ER shoo-ed me away from her, "Go somewhere!" At which point I thought this is ridiculous, I'm not learning, I'm not doing, I'm just wearing a tax-payer's clown outfit.

Then I was suddenly able to help, and help I did! I know this stuff, I learned it in the ambulance. Just, where do hospitals keep everything, I only know where supplies are on the go!

The next 5 hours I delighted in helping and learning.

I was stuck in rooms with patients as the doctors disappeared, and tried to engage them in conversation - or not, depending. We watched the minutes by, tick by tick, the ones I didn't know how to talk to. At least they were not alone.

This young Turkish guy was so scared of his symptoms, he had this frantic look, and said he couldn't breathe properly. The docs found nothing, and left him with me. He asked me, "What is happening?" I said, stupidly, in English, (emotional), "I'm sorry."

He immediately caught that and started speaking English to me. "Why can't I leave?"

I said, "You drove yourself here on your own, and they won't let you go home and get your things? Are you a prisoner and this is a jail?"

He said, "They are afraid of legal repercussions." (in great English)

I said, "It's not right. I'm so sorry for you - it's my first day. And I'm so sorry. And I must be honest, the food sucks. They have no idea about things like salt or pepper."

He said, "Maybe I can go home...."

Then the doctor, Mark, came in and said, "No, you cannot, we need you three days observation."

WTH.

As Mark led the poor scared guy out the door, I touched his arm and said, "So sorry, that you ended up in jail. SEND FOR FOOD!"


***

The two other interns. Maik and Felix somehow "discovered" me in the afternoon and took it upon themselves to help me learn things. This is such a change from the kiddies I went to school with last month, who, well, you know (they were all loud and wrestling constantly). These two even seemed to be competing with each other, over how to best teach me! How cool. And funny, as they discussed it. At one point, the docs needed our room, saw us practicing, and backed the patient away to another room. Oops, boys!

Maik and Felix are half my age but adapted to grown up life and are super nice to patients and just as professional in the work they do for the doctors/nurses.

Felix, "You can put an IV in my arm, I've got great veins."

Um, what?

OK, let me at it. I've always wanted to.

Poor guy bled all over. Not cuz I missed, but cuz I didn't understand the different caps and membranes that attach to the PVC (peripheral vein catheter). He smiled, "Please get me more towels, I'm wearing white pants."  (The word isn't "towel" but I don't know it in English.)

Maik said it's time for me to stop learning, even after I got down the infusions . After giving Felix a shot of NaCl - which we never did in medic training! (It keeps the blood from clotting in the catheter, while we wait for the doctor, I assume.) In the ambulance, everything goes so fast there is no time for that shot.

Then some other nurse asked me to come assist with something else and it was so disgusting I'm amazed no one puked. I'm great with disgusting though, but the smell..

I had to really use my body training to get that lady's leg lifted an inch off the bed so they could treat it. And I felt so, so bad for her, she was suffering.

I spoke to her but she was shaking and almost incoherent. I held her cold hand and wondered what could cause such wounds. They looked like bed sores all over her legs, impossible. I prayed for her.


Later I looked around and everyone was gone. They'd switched shifts and no one had said anything to me. I wandered around asking what I could do, and Mark and Maik let me assist on one last case, which cracked me up and I finally was able to get a patient laughing a little. What a great way to end my first day. "LIESELOTTE? Is that really your first name? That's the most beautiful German name of all, and I've never met anyone with your name!" (Golly I hope I don't get fired for my profuse friendliness......*shiver*)

Looking forward to tomorrow, where I know a lot more about what I can do to help (12-way EKG, on patients, and here, let me poke you....and the craziest machine that can clean a bedpan....including its CONTENTS. What?)

Bringing my own food though, tomorrow.

Mag ran up to me tonight, it was too dark for me to do my chores, and I was enveloped in his heavy Arabian scent (it's really hot out - 28C tonight, intensifying the truly unique scent of a desert horse). I hugged him and said, "Sorry, I'll spend time with you when I can."