I'm a Haflinger rider

This week I've been depressed, for the first time in my life that I'm aware of. Two people even noticed, so I guess it's true. For the first time in my life I didn't want to get out of bed in the morning.

I prayed and thought what can I do, I cannot send Mag away again, and I don't know a single trainer that I trust and find competent.

It's been since Baasha died that I've really enjoyed riding. 6 years of just "surviving" on horses, made more painful by the fact I've been unemployed most of that time, so I have all the time in the world creating cognitive dissonance in my type A horse crazy mind.

Then a thought occurred to me, what if I could find a lease horse close enough that I can walk to, and old enough that I can just sit on and enjoy nature from horseback? And optimally, use to PONY Mag from!?

Before I'd left for America I'd asked Seli if I could perhaps ride Momo for the first time, just to see what he's like. That was before the accident with Mag last week, of course, but we'd set our date and that was today.

I realized she assumed she'd be riding Mag, so I insisted she wear a helmet. My husband even said, "If she refuses, make her sign something." I thought, signing something doeesn't matter much when you're dead, but OK.

We've had an entire week of Summer weather, and Mag was very relaxed on our way to her barn, which is about a 15 minute walk. We watched two rabbits frolicking in the dead ferns, their coats blending in perfectly. One of those rabbits could feed a family of 5, they're so big.

I'm not superstitious at all but it crossed my mind that two rabbits frolicking might be a good sign, cuz I've never seen that before.

Seli had on a tank top, short shorts, and a HELMET, thank God.

When she tried to mount Mag, Mag had some sort of flashback and said NO WAY. I've never seen him act like that before but he refused to stand by the mounting block, and even when I asked him to move his hips over, he absolutely refused, resisting my hand. We kept trying and trying (with an audience) and I had no idea what his problem was. She's his hoof trimmer, she's no stranger. He nibbles her clothing as she works on his hooves, he finds her tasty.

Then I did something that I later considered to be dirty. I jumped on the low wall and asked him to line up and then pat him all over as I often do before I mount, and even half mounted a few times. He stood like a rock. Then Seli sidled up to me and jumped on Mag when he was expecting me to mount. See, that was a mean trick, but at the time I was just curious what if he'd even let me on.

Mag's eyes were wild but he didn't freak out. That pavement looked pretty rough to land on.

Then I got on Momo, the one-eyed Haflinger. He took his first steps and I exclaimed, "He's a SHIP!" His whole body swayed side to side as he walked, and his Western saddle felt enormous and was so loud I couldn't hear anyone talking on our ride.

I felt insecure about my steering because he's got a neck three times the size of Mag's, but shorter, and he wears a sidepull, and knows how to use his strength. I feel gloves are a good idea for next time, because when he dives for grass, his rope reins burn my hands.

This girl named Caro joined us on a Tinker named Gypsy, which I had to explain was ironic cuz that is what the breed is called in America. The Gypsy was lazier, stubborner, and even more grass-drawn than Momo. Poor Caro!

Mag took the lead and even jigged as we headed out. I told her how I correct that and he quit eventually. No jigging, ever. I had that with Baasha his entire life and I won't have it again.

I must say they made quite a sight, this tiny delicate young lady on a slender Arab with his tail straight up like a banner.

I don't want another horse that MUST be in the lead (Baasha) but it was really cool to see Mag boldly go. I mean, he was way out there at times, 20 meters in front, striding along without ever glancing at any item. No spook all day, wow.

His motivation blew Seli away, she said, "My gosh, the power of this horse, the impulsion! I don't have to ask him to go, in fact the opposite, I have to ask him to slow down."

She asked how I was enjoying Momo and I said, "To be honest, I am worried about you, about what Mag will do." Because God only knows, at this point in time.

Well, they had to stop and wait for us our entire ride, and Mag got to where he would stop on his own, turn and wait for us, and then proceed. If she asked him to hold still longer, he would fight a little, and paw the ground.

He also did that hectic head-tossing thing a few times, expressing how much he wants to go. But she laughed at him. When he squealed and struck the ground with a foreleg on meeting Gypsy nose-to-nose, she said, "OK I'm riding a stallion!" I don't laugh at his head tossing because I've seen and felt it escalate into half-rearing.

We came to one intersection and Mag wanted to go one way, Gypsy another, and Momo was the only good one and went the way we intended.

Every time I got in the lead, Mag would impatiently pass us. I bet he thought it was a trip, to see me on another horse, and to have me talking to him from over there on Momo.

It sure was a trip to see someone ride Mag an entire trail ride! You know how cool it is to see someone else ride your horse, well up til now I've only seen Ani ride him 3 times in an arena, so this was really cool.

At one point Mag got itchy and he shook himself. And in that moment, he panicked again. His tail tucked into a J, he dropped his hindquarters and he skittered about, but then he changed his mind and held it together. Remember Ani's second fall was when he shook with her on his back and it felt/sounded/?? unexpected to him. That was the most potentially disastrous thing that happened all day.

Halfway through our two-hour ride I noticed I was enjoying the trail, looking at the plants. My mind had wandered, I was not stressed. Momo was as reliable as a ranch horse.

At one point Caro dropped her whip and had to get off, and couldn't remount cuz she had one of those fancy wool Spanish bareback pads, with stirrups. Seli instructed me to line Momo up with Gypsy, and then put my foot in Gypsy's off stirrup. WTH. OK, but I decided to use my hand and hold her leather instead, and it worked. At this point Mag started to go crazy because we had clearly spent too long in one spot, and Seli just turned him around in a circle and asked him to stand again. Much more standing practice is needed, but it really does take a team - I need other riders to sign on to that and have the patience it takes. Amazing how few riders care to teach this and their horses can never stand still on trail.

We rode on Hohestrasse twice!  I've been avoiding even leading Mag on it since he fruck out on it this Winter and I almost lost him. That awful dog was there at the curve in the road where cars go 100KPH and did that stalking/attacking the fence thing, and Mag wasn't happy about it but nothing bad happened. Momo expressed his most anxiety about another dog by simply pricking his ears. I noticed. Hm, his ears are pricked, but I have no idea why. Seli said, "He really hates that dog." !!!

A bicyclist rang his bell from behind and passed us all, and it was all good, our three horses shifted to the side and I thanked the biker even as I was thanking God that Mag was OK with that.

Back at Hohestrasse near the end of our ride, Mag decided he really needed to take a left turn and head for home, and would not settle down. We were way behind, around the corner, and did not see. But when we arrived, I found Seli scolding Mag and saying, "You will stand here with all feet still for one moment." It took a while, but he gave in. Heck, he had two large, immobile cold bloods standing beside him, how can it be so hard to stand for one moment? *sigh* I know I expect a lot, but ....come on, two immobile cold bloods standing right beside him and he's dancing around.

At that moment my respect for Seli was full - she saw the problem and she addressed it. She did not just give in and let him skitter towards home.

She kicked her feet out of the stirrups, and rode Mag one handed on the buckle across Hohestrasse. Perfect trust, even when an ambulance went by.

Back at their barn, I asked if I could give Momo a bath, cuz he was soaking wet. She thought I meant to spray him off and I said no, with soap: ) So I did, but it was one of those most unrewarding baths on brown horses where you cannot tell a difference before and after. I don't think he even smelled better (he smells pretty rank).

Mag was tied next to him and rubbing his sweaty head on his, they did mutual head rubbing and chest/neck biting. Very cute.

Seli said, "Wanna go again next week?"

I said, "Seli, I was thinking about getting a lease horse, an older, safe horse, so I can learn to enjoy riding again."

She said, "If you'd have ridden Momo the last 16 years, you wouldn't have any problems with riding young horses!" (I disagree, but..)

Then she said I'm welcome to ride him even without her (!!) because they'd had the horsey scale out last week and he'd gained 30 kilos. I guess that's a lot. She said, "You can make Momo fit again!" She continued, "I work so hard I don't have the energy to ride, but you are always available to ride."

I wonder if the horsey scale showing up last week, finding out Momo has gained weight, was the key to my problem - if that was an answer to prayer.

I pondered if she's really offering me a free lease, but said, "I would like to repeat what we did today, and ride with you regularly, where I can enjoy your Momo, and you can prove to my eyes that my horse is actually OK."

I was ready to commit to paying her monthly, but wouldn't it be cool if we could mutually help each other? I did mention that I would love to pony Mag off a steady older horse, and she replied that Momo has done it and is fine. Of course he's fine, he lets Mag bite him all over and doesn't react. And Mag would be so easy to pony, he's so light on the lead. (My donkey is NOT a good ponying candidate - tried that once - never again. She just plants herself and tries to rip me in two, like the Levi's jeans logo - a pair of Levi jeans tied between two horses.)

I touched Seli's hand and said, "Thank you very much for today." Then I turned to Caro, "I thank you too." She said, "Can I come along next week? By my reckoning we made a good team." (I thought that was diplomatic and cute.) Yes of course you can come along!

I am not sure what will happen, but I have hope that it will be good. At this point if Ani asked me to go out trail riding, I'd say yes.

But it was so nice to just sit back and enjoy the ride. Next time, I'm bringing my Wintec, cuz owwwwwww Western saddles!

Life lessons.

I find that in my life I end up doing what I most despise in others. It's horrible to be a hypocrite, but it happens often, over the years. When I moved to Germany I boarded Baasha with an endurance rider who was afraid to ride her endurance horse alone. She needed someone with her every ride. I thought it was ridiculous, cuz she is an FEI rider. She hated me for taking Baasha out alone and not asking her to come with. No, I ride alone! Now... I'm a hypocrite.

In my old life, I knew a lady who bought an expensive endurance-bred Arabian and never rode him. Not that I know of, but every single training ride, every endurance ride, she was on a steadier horse (yet still fiery!) and she would have Aarene ride her rocket. I thought, no, you don't buy your dream horse and then ask someone else to ride him. Now.....Hypocrite.

*sigh*