Crazy stressful/awesome day

I shouted to J, still in bed, "I can finally say TGIF!"

He said, "What is that?"

*lol*

***

I arrived in Dortmund early enough that I was at the Catholic Center at 8:35. I was on fire to learn today. Our last class session, with practical work (hands-on).

My heart sank and panic rose in me as I saw half of my class standing in the hallway. At 8:35. They would normally be either in the classroom, or outside smoking cigarettes.

Stay calm. No, no!

I walked into the kitchen area to fill my water bottle and the secretariat (administration lady, who has taken a liking to me cuz she's NOT just out of high school) said to me, "How did it go?"

I choked on my water, "What how did what go?"

"The test today." Katrin said.

Holy crap, what!? My worst fear was realized. (No, LITERALLY, I have nightmares even today after graduating in 1996 from UW, that I somehow don't know about a test/quiz. It NEVER happened in real life. I've heard it's common in graduates, this nightmare.)

I immediately pulled out my class schedule and pointed to today, Friday. It said 9:00. I was EARLY.

She said there had been an announcement in the class yesterday that instructed students to arrive an hour early.

Oh, right. One of those things I don't quite catch, but are important. And it did not occur to my partner Jan to inform me of.

I sat there thinking, "Oh well."

Katrin said she'd take care of it. And she did.

The teachers were informed, and I was able to take the test later, at the first break.

As Katrin gave me the test papers, in the classroom, the kiddies became unfathomably reckless, loud, disrespectful.. Seriously, I was sitting there at a table trying to take a test, and the kids were SHOUTING to each other, "RENE IS GAY, DON'T YOU AGREE?" (Rene was our teacher yesterday.)

I couldn't even read, the way the noise around me erupted. My ears were ringing. OK, to be honest, I'm sensitive to loudness, cuz I live way out in the country where the loudest things are animals, and they are not locked in a room with me competing with each other for who can be the most loud.

These kids are just talking, they needed sound effects, apparently. Screeching and baa-ing like sheep being shorn. I'm not making this up. They fell down laughing at each baa of each sheep noise, ROTFL and grasping each other intimately. I mean, sexually. In class.

In addition to pouncing on each other in public displays of affection, they were slapping each other rhythmically, with the skin slaps making it impossible for me to hear the teacher. AS the teacher tried to teach, not during a break.

I have not been in such an unprofessional setting since ..

...well, since I was a kid. But I don't believe I've ever seen students flip each other off during lesson time.

Katrin had empathy for me when I said, "I cannot take a test with yelling/screeching voices ringing in my ears!" and she removed me to the furthest part of the floor of the building. In fact, it was so private, I was able to read the questions aloud, in German, which helps a lot.

I got a 4. That's a D in America. That's not so good, but in this class, enough to pass. And, I've found out, the average score. Average is D?!!!!???! To me that signifies a broken system.

Oh well. Katrin said, "You're fine. But I'm stressed about Sunday."

I said, "YOU?"

She said, "I worry about you guys. I want you to pass. I almost cannot stand it!"

I twisted my face around trying to fathom it. What a sweet lady! I want to send her flowers!

She said, "Call me Katrin, and please use the informal language with me!" I slowly nodded, "OK, Informal.....Katrin."

***

We had a lesson and then suddenly Rene's boyfriend (!?) Patrick, our teacher told us to take out our cell phones.

WHAT?

Please take out your cell phones and we will take a little online test.

I sat back in my chair.

I do not own a smart phone.

I pouted, actually scowling. No fair, I want to play.

Everyone had their cell phones out and Patrick saw I had none. He said, "Would you like to use mine?"

Uh, well.......

OK then.

He slapped it down in front of me after typing in the URL and PIN.

I entered my name, my real name, cuz I have nothing to hide. (Except on my blog, ha ha???)

An interactive game began where each player's name was on the projector's screen in the front of the class, and as we entered our answers, our names would appear as scores to show who answered first, correctly.

We were racing against each other!

It took me a while, longer, to read the questions themselves, cuz I had to translate them in my head.

That's obvious right?

But it surprised me when, after each question, the rankings of the winners for speed and accuracy started to display LYTHA.

What? Am I actually good enough to be in the top responders?

Holy crap.

(Keep in mind that my house, garden, and animals are in a state of disrepair these last 2 weeks cuz I do nothing but study, drive, and sleep.)

I thought the answers were easy, and I kept clicking away. My name kept appearing on the results screen.

BTW, I do not play video games, do not own a smart phone, so using a cell phone like this is new for me.

I could see the score at the bottom of my screen, "You are in 10th place." Then, "You are in 3rd place."

I was thinking, "Is this for real?

Finally the buzzer sounded, the game was over, and a little Olympic stadium appeared on the screen on the wall in front of us. In first place, "Diencephalon" (OK then?!) and in 2nd place, "LYTHA."

I didn't bother to read 3rd.

I WON 2ND PLACE IN MY ENTIRE CLASS!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!???!

 The teacher looked around, grinning happily, and said, "Who is Diencephalon?"

We all wanted to know who won.

It was his (boyfriend?) Rene, hiding in the back of the room where no one could notice him.

He waved a hand up sheepishly.

The teacher from yesterday had won.

UM......I had won!  Well, if you only count students.

OF COURSE I ONLY COUNT STUDENTS!

*amazed*

I beat the entire smarty class! The most of us, with more experience, those brats in medic uniforms.

The teacher said, "Who is LYTHA?"

*BLUSH*

 I think the kiddies were annoyed. Or ambivalent, it's impossible to differentiate.......... But Jan....

My partner Jan, who thought I was so helpless, said, "My internet was slow."

!!!! *lol* Sorry for laughing but........I am the champion of the day. Complete surprise to me. I've never gamed on a cell phone in my life, though I see the kiddies doing it every lesson.

Disadvantage: Language. Disadvantage: Cell phone proficiency. I'm Lytha. I'm good.

***

We spent our last lesson learning about Universal Precautions, ok, that's American for Hygiene.  How to mix disinfectants. How sterilization never occurs in an ambulance, that requires burning the whole thing up at a million degrees.  Really, I'm paying attention. Later, I stopped the teacher and spent a long time asking him about the details of his hygiene lesson, cuz after working in Nursing in America, I was curious. He went on and on, so happy that I'd asked. So thrilled to have a captive audience of one. Wow, some people really like to talk.

***

Jan and I kicked butt.

BUT, this is important to tomorrow's post with the results of this whole thing, so please take note. 

The teachers asked who would be here tomorrow, an extra practice day for 80 Euros.

Every single sponsored student raised their hand (not their money!). Jan and I did not. Teacher said, "You two, you're not here tomorrow for hands-on, so you do CPR right now on the floor."

In front of the entire class, Jan and I brought our stuff in.

Then Jan shouted at me, "No! Left! Left side of the patient!" I was confused, nervous. We started again.

He was on the left side and there was no room for me so I committed the cardinal sin, I stepped over the patient. As I did it, I actually felt the wave of NO! wash over me.

But Jan had yelled at me, making me nervous.

Then he yelled again, "JUST LIKE WE PRACTICED!"

And again, "DON'T BE CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Um....How does yelling "Don't be confused" help someone who was?

At that point my stress level shot up. We were surrounded by the entire class, watching us, and THREE teachers, taking notes on us.

I let it go and went to work.

Vacuum device ready.

Defib plates attached, defi working.

Airway tools connected and larnyx tube tested and placed in the patient.

Blah blah and then my first real problem -----

I'd never seen that particular O2 machine before. I'd seen 2 others, how can there be 3??!

I tried to figure it out, but could not.

Jan yelled at me every few seconds, TEN!

To which I gave one air-? (what do you call it in English?)

Then we repeated until the teacher felt sorry for me and came over to show me how to operate the third O2 machine in 2 weeks.

We stood up.

The evaluation of the 3 teachers was a relief, we passed.

We had the patient on air within a minute.

We communicated our order of operations.

One teacher pointed at me and said, "You were wrong at the beginning."

"Oh?"

"You pointed at me, said, 'you in the striped shirt, call 110."

I said, "Yes?"

He said, "That's the police. You want the fire dept."

*LOL* I had to laugh.

In America, it's the same.

A funny mistake. I like those ones.

***

The other teacher pointed at me and said, "You committed a critical error. You stepped over the patient."

YES, I did. And I realized it at that very moment.

It was the moment Jan was yelling at me to "Don't be CONFUSED!"

Which stressed me the heck out, and confused me.

***

After class I found Jan chatting with the other smoking students in the courtyard, and I went right up to him, moodily, in English (Cuz when he's intense with me, he speaks English):

"DO NOT SAY, 'DO NOT BE CONFUSED'."

He stared rambling about or operation, about our procedure, how we have to coordinate, whatever. I'd heard it before from him. He loves to preach.

I said, "I understand what you are saying, but do you understand when I say "Do NOT say "DO NOT BE CONFUSED!" as an order, that that is not helpful to the situation? That it does not relieve stress, rather cause it?"

(Looking back I know I didn't use such advanced English words, I stayed simple for him.)

He finally said, "You're right."

I said, "Rather than that, which doesn't help relieve stress, say something like, "Blieb cool!" in a low tone of voice. (Stay cool)

He backed up a step and said, "OK, I agree."

Hrmph. 

***

We'll see what happens on Sunday.

***

As I was typing this J came into the room to ask my shoe size.

OK then.....

That means......

?

***