Mara refuses to calm down

The owner of the "beach" arena called me and invited me to ride with her up there - she's just bought a bunch of groundwork obstacles and wanted me to try them with her. I said I would bring my horse and see how she behaves, and if she's able to calm down up there, I'll ride her next time. I had to endure, yet again, someone trying to convince me to ride - "Oh just ride her, she'll be fine!" I actually told her, "You can ride her then" but I don't think she's willing to do that.

Well now I know she's still not able to calm down up there.

For 2 entire hours I worked her, alternating lunging, groundwork, and ground driving. I didn't attempt anything til she seemed able to walk on a lungeline calmly. But I was mistaken. She refused to walk at the pace of my choosing as I ground drove her, and she threw a temper tantrum. She started rearing up and landing with a small crowhop and I don't like being behind that. She wasn't trying to kick me, she was just trying to tell me it's too hard to do what I wanted. She shook her head from side to side and started backing up without me asking. Good thing I had plenty of room, and the lady was in there riding her sweet calm Arabian the entire time.

Mara would toss her head and stamp the ground with a foreleg from time to time. I just wanted her to walk calmly the perimeter of the arena. She refused to go near the fence (but while lunging she was fine). She contorted her body to avoid it, and without leg aids it's difficult to fix.

She'd walk 10 meters then pitch another fit. The lady never saw, she was too into her own work. Ironically, she was facing away every time Mara reared up so she thinks my horse is just fine. If she paid attention, however, she would have heard the non-stop bit chomping my horse was doing.

I eventually put her back on the lunge and let her trot and even canter a bit. As soon as she was able to walk again, I put her back in the lines because I had to just make it around that arena without her rearing. Finally we got it, Mara walked at my pace, which was a slow walk, a walk a lazy horse would have loved to walk. I did some ground work but she was blowing me off because I didn't have my rope halter. Funny, I thought I didn't need that to get her attention anymore. I was wrong.

She was leaning on the bit, pulling on it, trying to drag me forward with just the strength of her mouth! Several times it worked.

Everytime we were near another horse, she would thrash her tail. OK she must be in heat. The other mare kept nickering to her - and the owner said, "She wants to keep your horse for her own!" - and I considered walking away and leaving Mara there for good.

I did some groundwork over poles and with cones but then some people on horses rode by on the public trail and Mara lost her mind.

I lunged her again, and she cantered as fast as she could, scrambling through the deep sand, finally breaking a sweat, and actually breathing. I would ask her to trot and she would only do it reluctantly. Getting a walk was very difficult, and when I got it, if I got distracted for a second, she'd start trotting again and then asking to canter.  Where is the self preservation?

After the 2 hours were finally up, the owner's husband brought my horse a bucket of water and Mara, as always, refused to drink. Then he brought me a little bottle of mineral water - I was dying of thirst when I arrived, so I was very grateful - but I couldn't drink it, because my idiot horse would not stand still and let me. Finally the guy offered to hold her so I could manage to drink. Isn't that ridiculous, after all that work, she wouldn't just stand there and let me drink water?

They invited me in for tea, and I said I'd love to. They offered to let Mara hang out in the arena while we had tea, but remember what Mara did last time, when Tami was here? She went tearing around so fast we thought she'd break the place down. So I asked if she could stay in a stall. The owner was very concerned because she never separates her two horses. If she's riding the Arabian, the TB must be in the adjacent paddock, etc. I said, "Oh, no worries, my horse will be fine alone in your barn, and she won't destroy anything!" That is one nice thing about my horse. As I put her in that stall, the other horses were neighing to her from their field, and Mara ignored them completely and ate haylage (sour hay). I loved being able to just walk away from that stall and know she'd be fine, and actually use the automatic waterer if she needed to. She's the horse I always wanted in one way - she is independent and doesn't cling to other horses.

Our "tea party" was actually a patio party with mineral water. As we sat there analyzing the grasses that grow in their pasture - we kept climbing under the fence and picking pieces and comparing them to photos in a horse nutrition magazine - an elderly couple approached on the common trail and they were also invited to coffee/beer/champagne - they offered everything: ) I had been there 3 hours so I took my leave.  What popular people they are, living on the common trail.

All the way home Mara wanted to pass me even though that's not allowed, and I had to swing my rope a bit to keep her back.

When we got home she finally drank, and then stood there looking forlorn.

I went to her and put my hands on both sides of her face and rubbed her forehead and said, "You can't help it - you don't want to be this way. I'm sorry for you."