Round 2, day 1

I have to tell you about day one of my medic class (take 2) because it was exactly as I imagined. Doing my God's honest best to not throw my hand in the air when the teacher asked a question.



      This teacher, Nanette, was wonderful. She understood that most in the class were going on to medic level 2 and taught with that in sharp focus, even though it was a simple first aid class.

Then there comes my dishonesty, ugh. I cannot risk telling people that I'd failed before and that is why I'm here. I don't want the teachers to be prejudiced against me. I don't know if that is a risk, but I'm not willing to take that risk.

I always fear/loathe the inevitable introduction round. But I've done it so many times in the last 2 years, I see an improvement. My hands are less panic-sweaty.

Nanette wanted to know why we are here. Why we want to be medics. Oh crap, I can't answer that.

So I replied, "I have nothing better to do."

Everyone laughed and I cringed. Bad answer. A non-answer, in fact. Evasion. I did not think to prepare a better one. I regretted it because a teacher doesn't want to hear that. But then I realized my answer was so obviously a diversion, it could not be taken seriously.

I felt better when two students born in 2000 said, "to fill the time between school and job"  - OK then, that does not constitute a good answer either!

I know their birthdates because we have to write our names, addresses, and birthdays on our sign-in sheet - which I always analyze to see if anyone is anywhere in the range of my birthyear. Thankfully this time two of them are! Mike and Patrick.

Patrick, a black dude with tattoos, was somewhat near my age, and was sitting next to me. As soon as I observed his engagement with the class material, I leaned over and said, "I want you as my partner."

He obliged and we made a great team today.

I hope he'll be my partner the next month because that can make or break you as a medic.

I especially appreciated how Nanette had us working through accident/trauma cases, one by one, even just verbally. She really knows what our final test will be about. A typical first aid class doesn't teach this. And as you know from reading my blog, this is where I failed (twice).

For fun we had to all bandage each other up with our partners. Patrick had to bandage my eye. As soon as he started I said, "Don't you think you should bandage BOTH my eyes?" He looked at me funny and I let it go cuz I wasn't sure. Fuzzy memory.

As Nanette walked around the room analzying our bandaging skills, she had to fix one that was pretty bad. She said, "I want everyone to see this, because it's important." I raised my hand, "CANNOT SEE VERY WELL: ONLY ONE EYE." *lol* I really can be a class clown.

The teacher told me, as they all do, that I can ask if I don't understand the German, but that would be so often it would be ridiculous. Cuz they use slang and idioms both, and frequently. The good thing is, the important stuff is latin or greek or english so I've got it.

As you know from my last class, it's the students who make the class or break it and make me want to give up on humanity altogether. I blogged photographic evidence.

This time it seems different, although only 10 of the 32 students were there today (the other 22 had a first-aid certificate within the last 2 years). But I have a good feeling about this group of 10. None of them stared at their phones during the class.

None of them were disrespectful to the teacher.

I have a very good feeling about this next month in Cologne, repeating my medic training. I have a very big secret and eventually I may have to confess to Patrick, a half-lie, "I've done part of this before, but it was a while ago." Not a lie at all....

Cuz when Nanette asked the causes of an Apoplex (stroke) I threw my hand up cuz I'd just read that chapter. Ischamaie and Hemmorhage (?) 80/20 in occurrence. Blockage vs. rupture. I'm not sure she got my accent but she agreed with me.

CPR was funny today cuz it's just first aid CPR which we'll never ever use in Rettungsdienst (medic service).

I was only annoyed once today, when Nanette did not believe me when I said an Amputat (the body part you lose) should be wrapped in a sterile bandage before being placed in the plastic sack (s). She disagreed and I can see that chapter in my head, from the text book. Grr.

But in the end, she asked if we had any more questions, and left her email address open for even more question (really? Are you sure?). Instead, Patrick piped in about what he liked about her class.

I threw my hand up and said how much I appreciated her description of left vs. right heart failure, and the consequences in the body. I said it's so hard to keep that straight, and she simplified it in a salient way.

Then I said how disappointed I am that she will not be any of our teachers in the next month. She's "just" a first aid teacher (although she is a medic and rides ambulances for fun).

I rarely want to hug a teacher but I left the room quickly before getting emotional.

Mach weiter, Nanette!

***

Lucky me, there is an Aldi, Rewe, AND McDonalds within a block of my class. I had breakfast at MD and was devasted, really, really freaking out right there, that there are no more sausage mc muffins in Germany at all. That is the only taste of American breakfast sausage I get - it doens't exist here. The foreign lady tried to console me, "They may return" but I doubt it. Germans don't eat American breakfast sausage. Too flavorful.

Instaed of sausage they have beef. So, I said, "Just a hamburger with a mcmuffin bun?" yah.

I ordered it. Since I'm on low-carb I ordered the cheese between the meat and the egg, because normally the cheese is on the bread and sticks. I cannot adequately convey the level of confusion I've caused at McDonalds in the great cities of Cologne and Dortmund. My German is GOOD. But I have to repeat myself at least 4 times: Cheese between meat and egg." WTH. I'm always amazed when they get that right.

Then for the first time ever, I went to the Mc Cafe. Whatever. The McDonalds coffee bar. I really wanted an iced Americano, my favorite drink. I saw the big poster "ICE COFFEE" and my main question was, "IS THERE ACTUALLY ICE?"

Germans don't want ice in their drinks. German fridges do not have ice makers. Germans do not have ice trays. Germans don't want drinks cold. In fact, beer is often (mostly) kept at "cellar" temperature, to me, not cold at all.

This Cologne McDonalds had actual ice cubes. No way.

I carefully instructed the foreigner how to make an iced Americano. She was really tested by me as a customer, and came out well, no smile (no, you never get a smile here) but she did her best to follow my instructions. (Espresso. Cold water. Ice cubes. Leave space for cream." (And the word "CREAM" I have not yet found in German.)

In the end I paid for their "Iced coffee drink" simply because she had no idea how to charge me. So, 3.29E. And it was wonderful.

People who say McDonalds has a fighting chance at espresso may be right. Well, they have a freaking espresso machine. And the coffee was just right.

I dumped my cream in and artificial sweetener, and took a sip. It was fine. I praised her and now we're good. My Turkish McCafe lady and I.

I asked her if she'd be there Monday and she said yes. "See you Monday!" we both said.

Wish it were a Burger King, wish there was one single source of American breakfast sausage in Germany.

Happy with what I have.

A new chance. Although J says eating McDonalds for an entire month is not a good idea.

I guess I'll be hitting up the Aldi and Rewe and getting creative cuz I have no time to cook meals after class and commute.

***

Mag and Bellis are frantically nickering cuz they've been "neglected" or some such.

Ani will come twice a week to clean up after them cuz I won't have much free time.

***

I have to say, I'm feeling really good about this "take 2". If it doesn't work, I'm still a level 1 medic. I have faith that this company will do things differently, to help students prepare better.