Sunday, August 28, 2022

Ani, 2 years later

Do you remember Ani? The borderline personality disorder lady I rode with twice weekly for years? Until 2 years ago when she said she couldn't be my friend anymore because I wouldn't let her ride Mag without me being present? 

She rode her bike by my car last week and I got an email that night.

She misses me, she's so, so sorry about how she hurt me, and she wants me to give her another chance. 

I thought about my reply for days and came up with this, "I hope you forgive me, too, for how I wronged you (that I ever let her think she could ever ride Mag alone, my bad!). However you were correct that we shouldn't be friends."

The next morning I got two emails from her, both desperate. "I want to start our friendship over from the beginning. You have been a great friend to me. I miss you very much. God bless you." 

(The God thing is heavy handed because when she broke our friendship, she actually used the words, "You are crazy, only God can help you.") 

The next mail said "Please be my friend. I love you."

(This was all in English, word for word.) 

I'm sitting here not sure how to respond except for giving her the phrase, "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." Cuz I am totally unwilling to let any of that crap happen every again. 

Do you remember the hamster incident? The Equitana incident? The Rudi mare and her own mare Mira running off, leaving me, the time Mag got away from me and she just kept riding, not stopping, the time another rider's horse was terrified of my donkey and Ani just rode on by, without stopping, she never stopped. The time the trainer said "go from a trot to a walk" and she couldn't, she didn't even stop posting, because she didn't understand that might help the horse slow down? She never could get her horses to slow down, or walk, or stop. She was a passenger. One time she took us into a freaking Treibjagt (see Game of Thrones, episode one) where hunters and dogs surrounded us making loud noises chasing boars, I've never been so frightened in my life. And she is German, so she should know what a Treibjagt is. It was like riding with a child, and I was the one with the green horse. 

I think I have removed the most awful of our experiences from my blog, but some of them are still there. 

When a person with a mental disorder, on medication for that disorder, calls you crazy, you wonder.

No. I wish I could be so honest as to say I wish I'd never met you in the first place. 

It hurts me that she is begging for my friendship back, but I have to wonder, what changed? It has been two full years. Why now? I think she has exhausted her very last horsey contact and needs me to replace her. I'm convinced it is impossible for her to keep friendships due to her disorder. And then I drove my car by...

Two weeks ago we went through a huge ordeal with TP. My husband was pushed to the edge, he is certain that horse people are nuts. Yes, TP was always nuts. 

I have TP to my East, and Ani to my West, both 5 minutes from here. I'm surrounded by crazy people. 

The TP story is really good.......it involves her walking our entire pasture twice in the night.....more later.



3 comments:

kbryan said...

Thank her for her email, and tell her that at this time your life is very full and you are not prepared to or desire to “restart or repair” an old friendship. Then tell her that you hope that you wish her a bright, happy future. Life is short, and we all must move on eventually.

What happened with TP?!?!

Go hug your equines and be happy!

K.

Tina said...

I'd just ignore her but it looks like she's going to push it until you are blunt with her.

Shaste said...

I would also ignore. Don't get drawn in.