The government Schmucks

When J came home from work today I hugged him and said, "Did they kiss your a$$ to your satisfaction sir?" OK, I was there, and they did, it was a rhetorical question. One I'd learned from the Battlestar Galactica reboot, episode 1. 

See, the last 4 weeks the government has been here doing something I have no word for in English. They basically removed our 3 fish ponds, and the neighbor's 7. It turns out it was never legal to have stocked trout ponds here. 50 years ago whoever lived here, and next door, decided to make trout ponds. 

As you know the last 11 years we've tried having people "rent" our ponds, tending to them for the benefit of the yummy yummy fish. I learned how to catch and clean them myslef, those trout. But the renters were inevitably slackers, and it not being their land, they let the area go to crap.

When J and I tended them, we did pretty good, but it was an abysmal job, a horrible amount of work for people who are not fish enthusiasts.

Enter the government schmucks. 

The government in Germany works in vast and mysterious ways. They came and filled in all the ponds, with only taxpayer money, no fee to us.

To do so required going through our street-side gate with heavy equipment, and across our pasture, and through a huge hole we made in our perimeter T post fence. 

I was astounded when they actually stayed on schedule, compared to most contractors. 4 weeks was 4 weeks!?

I had the idea they would come with landfill and fill in the ponds. Nope. Not in Germany. They used two huge excavators and basically pulled down the valley walls into the ponds and creek bed, changing its course. All the pipes were removed (apparently but I doubt it - I think they just buried them all in their 4-week rush). 

Last week they started removing the dozens of old tires that someone had rolled down the valley into the creek bed that fed the ponds. There were also 2 bath tubs, of course. We knew about the tires from day one living here, but we didn't know how many.

5 industrial truckloads full later, all the tires were removed from our creekbed.

But in doing so, they broke through our horse fence.

Last Thursday I saw them taking the excavator closer to the portion of fence we hadn't taken down and I hurried down there and asked, "Should I remove fence?"

"Oh no, we'll just swing the excavator arm over your fence." HA. Right. 

Last night the corner of our fence was destroyed. I was so furious, especially after my offer to help, that I lost it completely on J. My poor husband.

They rang my doorbell today and I did the German thing (why is this happening so often lately*) - I confronted the foreman, "You ruined our fence. Can your company pay to replace it?"

He actually laughed, "No, but I tied the electric wire in knots wherever we broke it." 

I said, "Every break/connection/knot in the fence leads to a huge loss of voltage, from 10K to 8, and so on." 

He seemed concerned but didn't offer anything. I said, "Did you ruin any of our Tpost rings? Cuz we don't have any to spare." Oh no, he said. But yes, he did.

I told him my husband would be here soon to speak with him.

Since J was late, I got J on the phone and took it out to the schmuck and handed him my phone. OOPS. Huge Corona fail! (My phone got 2 rubbing alcohol baths tonight, but still I wasn't thinking of HIS safety.)

Then I unknotted his knots and put stainless wire connectors on the broken wires and just shook my head as I saw how they tried to put our fence back together, all haphazard. (They should have taken a photo first, to have a guide for rebuilding it!)

Then I grabbed a busted T post insulator and carried it back to him as he talked to J. 

I gave him space but listened and was pleased that the guy was incredibly apologetic.

If I hadn't asked to help remove the fence last week, he may have not been so apologetic. But he knew he was lazy and wrong. He apparently felt terrible and it sort of made up for my rage last night.

When he got off the phone I handed him a busted T post insulator and said, "You owe me one." 

He asked where they can be purchased, at the local feed/supply store? I said, "Nope, they don't sell T posts, so they don't sell accessories."

The guy looked chagrined and put it in his pocket. I was loving that moment.

For sorry he should be. He said he'll try to locate electric fencing and give it to us, since he knows people with horses. Not that we'll want what he scrounges up, but I appreciate the thought.

So J's a$$ was sufficiently kissed, and mine as well: )

Now we know what is involved in a government Rueckbau (what they did). 

The fact that they stayed on schedule, mindblowing. 

Bellis and Mag are so ready to go back on the pasture, where they were not allowed due to all the heavy equipment. 

We have a reputation, I've learned, for doing everything by the book. I thought that was a German thing but apparently the hicks we live around are not so fastidious. 

Our good neighbors were actually sad that the ponds are no longer. I understand that sentiment (yummy trout!) but she has no idea how much work those ponds were.

I will stop calling them schmucks now cuz of the honest apologies.

* - The "German thing" - I just asked J, "Am I becoming too German lately? Confrontational, direct, harsh?" He smiled and said, "Yes, I noticed." OK that's gonna be a real problem when  I ever make it back to America. If you happen to see me then, cut me some slack for my brutal honesty, which I am a constant victim of, here.