As you can imagine, the first thing I thought was he's dying out there. Mag does not lay down. In fact, the vet has given us a lot of help with ideas to keep him from hurting himself when he collapses while trying to sleep upright. Mainly - pad your entire property in softness. We did that and I haven't seen blood on his legs this year. (Sadly, scars remain.)
10 AM I walk out there to get my horse for a ride and he's just lying there in the wet grass. Why, what's wrong. I froze and stared at him for a full 5 minutes. He was not sleeping. He was not even dozing. In fact he was laying down but constantly scanning around himself with his ears and little turns of his head. The donkey was about 50 meters away. The horse was about 50 meters from the street, where construction trucks are going by every 10 minutes this week.
I assured myself he's fine by his demeanor but I was still freaking out.
Then he got up and did that back-leg stretch, each leg in turn. I walked up to him and he was fine. I told him how proud I was, not that he understands. I just never thought I'd see that sight. Perhaps he really is lying down to sleep at night (I saw a study that said horses will most often lie down at near-dawn.)
I even texted J at work (not that he has his phone on at work) and left him the message and to my surprise he answered, "What's wrong with him, is he OK?" : )
***
Mag was extremely relaxed today compared to Tuesday's weirdness. I had a wonderful trail ride with Ani where I chatted almost constantly to either him or her. I'd had coffee, it was obvious. It was one of those rare rides where I felt at home on his back, almost safe.
Ani chastised me for underestimating Mag, telling me he's a reliable horse, and that he would like to be ridden more often. This was in response to me saying I wanted to ride a been-there-done-that horse to boost my confidence and improve my equitation. She raised her voice at me, "That describes Mag! Mag deserves better! I can only dream of having a horse like Mag and you're afraid to ride him."
I assured Ani no matter what, I would not sell Mag, because I love him. (Not too long ago I got a random SMS from her that said I should sell him.)
In the photo above you can see the cuts on his legs from falling down. Thankfully they are gone now, except for faint scars.
I know you've seen it before but the photo above is one of the reasons I love Mag. He drinks from every possible puddle, including this Tupperware dish which he drained that was intended for dogs or rabbits. Sadly, in these droughts, he'll dive down to drink from a puddle that is not there this time of year. I'm working on getting him to drink from my water bottle.
***
Love without trust is bittersweet. But we'll get there. Ani was here today for Star Trek night and he whickered at us as she was leaving. She quickly went over to him and stroked him, telling him how wonderful he is. And noting how he has zero Winter coat yet, whereas her elderly lease horses are filling up with hair. I told her how glad I am to have a "transitional weather" blanket for the nights that fall below 12C.
He's looking great, has no need of Easyboots (not yet) and really just wants his little scoop of high-protein fancy food. That Hoeveler Puritan Sport seems to be the best thing ever, despite being grain and sugar free.
Tuesday I will bring a bag of our own hay to be weighed at J's school cuz I don't have a gram scale and I need 300 grams to be tested. Then we'll go to the bank and get the loan, finally, to buy these properties all around and next to us, FINALLY. OK, the loan, then the Notary......yeesh this takes forever.
10 comments:
That's interesting about him not laying down. I had an old mare once that would fall asleep standing up, and her head would get lower, and lower, until her nose was almost on the ground, then her front legs would buckle and she'd wake up with a start and look around as if to say "hope nobody saw that!"
Trusting a horse is not east, it's all about trusting yourself first to be able to handle scary situations.
Shirley, that's what Mag does too, except he would hit the ground.
I have read enough about fearful riders that I'm convinced riding other horses I trust would only help me, with "muscle and mind" memory of how to relax and enjoy. I went on a guided trail ride in the Cascades a few years ago where I could do just that.
However, I've been riding Mag all year with nothing bad happening, someday that will have to sink into my brain. Or? I appreciate your advice. I guess you agree with Ani, that Mag is trustworthy but I'm screwed up: )
In my opinion, trust is definitely part of it- trust in your horse but also trust in yourself to know what to do when things go wrong. The thing about fear is that it doesn't go away just because you tell it to. For me, I needed to accept that I was anxious about some things and then I found that accepting that helped it to go away (mostly). Rather than urge you to trust Mag or yourself, I would simply advise you to accept the way you are right now in your journey with him.
Teresa, that makes sense. Also it means ignoring the people talking into my ears. I try to write every week in my blog no matter how boring, to prove to myself it's improving. I have to be honest and tell you when it's not. It feels good to be told to be patient with the way we are in 2019. I have great hopes for those years to come.
Trust is a tough one, and it (sometimes) has nothing to do with affection.
For example: I loved the Toad, but even after 8 years together (2,000+ miles together in competition) I was afraid every single time I rode him. And that was made very obvious to me (although I was in deep denial) when I got on Fiddle for the first time and did *not* feel afraid at all, even though she was green-green-green and bad-tempered to boot. It took years to fix the bad temper, but she never once scared me.
It doesn't really matter if it's you or if it's him or if it's the combination of the two of you. The fear is real. It might or might not be a rational fear. Who cares? It's real.
But the question is: now what?
For that, I got no answer. Unless there's a nice Traber nearby that you could ride. :-)
Go back over your notes a year or even 6 months ago and study the steps forward you have made. I can see them in just reading your blog.
I think I’ve told you before that I have two, now three of my retirees who have “narcolepsy.” For one, Sonny, it is his arthritis that discourages him from lying down. For Fizz, she really appreciates a dry, sunny spot in the pasture or deeper bedding, and if not available, won’t lie down. I think for Comet, it’s stressful events (such as visiting horses or radical weather changes) that have him hyper alert, and not willing to trust his environment to sleep flat out...
The fact that Mag’s sores are healed says he’s probably sleeping sometime you’re not aware of...they only need 20 minutes or so of R.E.M. sleep a day.
Aarene, I was afraid to ride behind Billy cuz he had a habit of kicking rocks toward the horse behind him. A rare talent. I'm glad you agree that a confidence building horse might help. In the lack thereof, I will build my riding ring and Mag and I will go to Kindergarten together. We went to the bank today for the loan. We got it! Funnily, the banker asked us the exact expenses a horse incurs every month. He had to ask us about all our expenses and the horse one was the lowest amount. Mag is super cheap to keep, so far!
Ellie, Thank you! I hope you're not just saying that to be nice. So I will go back and see if you're telling the truth!!!
ES, "Narcolepsy" - which as you know is extremely rare in horses, but the unwillingness to lie down is much more common, esp in older horses. 20 minutes you say! Oh that is great news. I haven't had him start to fall down while grooming in a long while, either. Deep bedding has been proven to cause horses to lie down longer than they would, otherwise. I tried that but our stall is too small I suppose. Tonight isn't so cold, 14C, but all of Mag's Summer coat was standing on end, even though I'm in a Tshirt. I know if I can see his skin under his hair, it means his hair is on end, and he needs a blanket. I put the rain coat on him with the assurance the warmth will encourage him to lie down tonight at pasture. 20 minutes! Hm! Thank you so much for the comment.
I totally agree that a confidence-building horse would help! Don't you need a "husband horse" anyhow? Since you already have the loan and don't have to confess how much a second horse would cost, I mean.
:-)
Aarene, I guess I feel I should have a job before I go there, because J really has no interest: (
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