Day 2 of ESL

I got summoned to come teach two more classes today and for some reason got really nervous. I know the dynamic is different in every classroom and I was pretty sure I'd have some bad kids today.

And I did. It was just awful. 4 kids, three of which are BFFs and a boy who wants nothing to do with English. First thing out of his mouth was in German, "I hate English." Then another girl joined in with that sentiment. WTH. Often I'd ask the boy a question, and he'd answer "NEIN." Exasperated, I said, "Can you please say the word NEIN in English?" "No." I shouted, "NO! Very GOOD!" *lol* I mean come on. How incapacitated by insecurity must you be to not even say simple yes or no in the language you are learning?

I could barely tear the BFFs away from their non-stop (German) conversations and cell phone usage, and all they had to do, all three of them, was write one paragraph about Apartheid. Two of them just didn't even want to try, they were so overwhelmed. One of them did a good job and I said, "OK now help the others cuz you obviously know what you're doing!" And she said, "Her English sucks, I don't want to."

One of the BFFs had zero comprehension whenever I spoke. Next to null. The look on her face, she's never had an English teacher speak English. (I asked.)

One of the BFFs was a turkish girl who despite hating English, she was totally confident about speaking, and she gave me a total interrogation about who I am and why I'm in Germany and and and. Wow.

An hour and 20 minutes in, they had barely begun the single paragraph they were supposed to write. I said, "Enough of this, we're playing a game for the final 10 minutes of class." (I'd spent hours preparing again, and found some really nice games!)

The boy crossed his arms and said, "I'm NOT playing." I said, "Would you like me to play in your place?" Somehow that worked and he joined.

Setting up the game I asked them for a list of 20 adjectives. They all froze in silence. I said, "I'll go first. I wrote "slow" on the board." They started to catch on, the 2 smarter ones, and kept raising their hands despite me saying, "no hands, just speak!"

I had to stop them and go to the 2 weaker students and prompt them by asking them "what does soft mean in English" in German. The boy sat there sullenly and I actually sang the Soft Kitty Warm Kitty song (omg)

After I wrote all the adjectives in 2 columns on the board, I wrote "-er" and "more" at the top of each and gave each team a pen and said, "Go. Write either 'er' or 'more' by each adjective." Even the boy got into it! And you know what, he was good at it! I was overwhelmed, because the two poor students (why did I put them together, ugh?) almost won. And even better, the "uncomprehending" girl was adept at changing words that end with y into ier (uglier, prettier).

And even better, I let the poor students correct the mistakes of the good students and they did it!

After class the boss came in and said, "And?" to which I just sighed, "They are completely unfocused."

He admitted it was a poor combination of students, the BFFs being together. I'm hoping that means I won't have those three together at the same time ever again.

Next class started and it was abysmal.

Two 11th grade girls who were ultra motivated and had the same exact homework - analysing Obama's 2008 Yes We Can speech. OMG they spent NINETY MINUTES on that stupid speech. And it was just "poetic" enough to be difficult for them, and I was able to answer some questions...

But for the most part, the two girls helped each other and used me as a living dictionary from time to time. Frustrating. I had my toys laid out on the table, I kept saying, "Can we play a game now?" but no. All Obama, all the time.

I call them the Obama girls now.

Their thoroughness was maddening, because come on, do you have to analyze every freaking word? Yes, yes they did.

At one point they asked me what the word "BALLOT" means and lo and behold, I'd brought my King County Elections Ballot to class today. Why? No idea. But I jumped out of my seat and grabbed it and said, "THIS is a ballot." They blinked at me and I said, "Look, it says it right on it. It's how I vote, cuz I'm an American citizen and I'm allowed to vote by mail." I think their minds were blown but at the end of class I said, "Which one of you wants my ballot? You can use it in class when you discuss that part of the Obama speech." Fabi took it thankfully and I said, "Seriously though, don't actually fill it out and mail it to America, it's a real ballot." (To be honest I'd removed the QR code and my address and the "sign here" envelope so it wouldn't be valid if they did fill it out and vote. And don't be annoyed with me for not actually voting this time, I mostly just vote for presidents.)

There was no time to do anything I'd spent the day preparing. I felt so useless.

When the boss came in after, I said, "These two do not need me. They should not be here. They are perfectly capable of helping each other, and I have very little to do." He replied they simply want the support. Ok then.

I had asked them what their grades are in English lately and they both said Cs and Ds. Wow. Such motivation, such poor grades?

You'd laugh if you could see the nicknames I made up for almost every kid. I always make them write their names on the board cuz the chances are, I won't understand them and I need to see it. Indeed, there was an Ilyda (!) and a Selinay (not pronounced like you'd think). I asked each kid if I could call them a part of their name, and really enjoyed calling Ilyda "Lyda" which rhymes wiht Lytha *lol* Fabienne became Fabi.

***

Before when I taught English, I had complete control over every minute of the lesson. Now I'm babysitting kids who either do their homework, or sit there helplessly with no desire. And looking at t their freaking phones under the tables regularly (WTH!).

I think I have to talk to the boss. I am convinced I can help kids learn English if I have the freedom to engage them in conversation, and play grammar games with them with physical activities (I brought several D&D dice (die?) and my juggling ball again).

I liken kids to dogs. I like the good ones, which seem to be rare on this earth.

The building I'm working in is directly across from the fire department, where I worked as an intern. That was FUN. Whenever I hear an ambulance siren it both hurts and makes me appreciate what I learned there.

This is....we'll see. It's something to do. Funnily, I had applied on Monday of this week on a total WHIM, thinking I should do something. Now I've worked there two days and may actually be hired. I'm in a test period still, and if those classes report badly on me today, I may not get the job.

If the boss doesn't appreciate my honest reactions to the kids, I also might get canned. But I cannot be dishonest when he asks how it went.

It would feel good to succeed at something, to make a difference.

I'm exhausted, emotionally.

J just walked in as I was typing this and I asked him how he manages to teach kids all day, every day, and he said, "It's my job."