Tomorrow I have my repeat test for my medic course. I spent the week in class practicing, but still feel a 50/50 chance of passing. There are so many things that can go wrong and you fail. Any little thing, you fail.
It's been a crazy week in Gelsenkirchen, and I suffered the same as last time, a partner who takes over the leadership role and pushes me to the background when I am supposed to prove my expertise.
I'd already spoken with her about it, "I'll FAIL if you keep taking over the leader role."
She nodded and seemed to understand but today she did it again - and thank God, the teacher and other students turned on her and nailed her, "Your partner (me) will FAIL if you keep taking over. You have to trust your leader and SHUT YOUR F-ing MOUTH!" (Really)
She seemed humbled, because I'd given her the same speech yesterday. And, the entire class was staring at her during her scolding.
It was so bad the teacher said, "Lytha, let's do an accident case together, you and me, and I will behave incompetently. GO."
And I did it. It was funny when he started to purposefully defy me, and I was tempted to do the task myself, but then I said, "No, you do what I said, you go get the pupil light for me!"
After that it was fine, and my teacher said, "Lytha, you can do this, you just don't trust yourself, you're too nervous, and you let your partner take over. But you can do it, if your partner doesn't interfere."
OK
*deep breath*
I think I can, and I was happy to see my partner admit her mistake and say she would keep her mouth shut unless I ask her for her opinion.
Oh Lord help me, it's so hard, we have so many accident cases to know by heart, and the 2 types of CPR. And how to transport sick patients using a (no idea English).
I feel I have a 50/50 chance to pass, because any little mistake could fail you, and you fail the entire class. You don't know exactly which little mistakes those are, when you're making them.
As the teacher said, I need to rest now, not study anymore, just relax before tomorrow morning's test.
6 comments:
YOU CAN DO THE THING!
Hell, woman. You've ridden a horse 50 miles (and more, on the days you got off-trail), and were able to stand up and receive your t-shirt at the end. You can totally do THIS.
I have faith. Go do it!
p.s. your teacher gets a gold star for making you practice the "SHUT UP" maneuver. That is brilliant.
Be bold. Be strong. Maybe pratice bossing your husband around tonight while prepping dinner?
And go hug your pony!
We will be here, waiting, hoping, cheering.
PS Maybe channel that inner lioness if the body/patient was your husband and you had to protect him.
Candles are lit for you, Lytha. You've got this!! <3
Candles are lit for you, Lytha. You've got this!! <3
You CAN do this! Think of your partner like a pushy horse. Put her back. Have faith in yourself. Look at how far you've come!
I also LOVE your teacher.
I hope you're passing your test!!! Kudos for your teacher and other students stepping up like that!!! Kudos for the girl for being graceful enough to finally realize what she was doing was hurting your chances.
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