Book review: Riding Fear Free

Aarene asked for more info about the book I'm reading. Apparently this book has a website:

http://www.ridingfearfree.com/

Like the site says, it is for both riders and riding instructors, equally, and provides research and case studies on the topic of fear in general, including PTSD, fully delving into the physiological fear process and what we can do about it as riders and riding instructors.

It is written as a guide in how to overcome fear reactions around horses, and involves a bit of work for a rider who wants to ride fear free. That is, there is homework involved, not just reading your Kindle and getting on your horse: )

The book resonated with me because of its scientific approach and systematic method for working with fear. Irrational fear and rational, experience-based fear are dealt with the same way.

The book showed me I'm not a fearful rider, I am just wary on green horses, but the principles of the book can be applied for my scenario too. As you'll see if you read on, the book is aimed at deep, paralyzing fears, and includes some case studies showing how the methods have worked with truly fearful riders.

I quoted my favorite points from the book, the ones aimed at riders and not instructors:


The advice of the most well-meaning friend or trainer can feel as if it is missing a step.
Step 1: Get on horse, feel afraid, but keep riding.
Step 2: ?
Step 3: Ride without fear.

What is step 2?

Step 2 is to address your thoughts and feelings are you are exposed to small, manageable doses of a fear-inducing stimulus and then released from that pressure.

Fearful riders have heard all the common advice, from buying a more secure saddle to taking lessons, but those are just physical changes. The rider's mind has been neglected.

Every ride either reinforces fear or weakens it in your brain, so when you ride DESPITE fear, you are actually making your fear memories stronger, which is the opposite of the desired result. And unfortunately most of the advice given is to continue the activities regardless of fear.  When John Wayne said, "Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway" - that is not courage. Fear is common sense in disguise, so taking an action in spite of that fear is insanity. Being told to "cowboy up" is a roadblock to riding fear free.

With regard to the advice to become more physically fit to be better balanced and thus less fearful, the book says, Those are physical aspects of riding fear free, but the most important part of the equation - the mind and spirit of the rider - are viewed as by-products of perfecting the other tasks. In actuality, the emotions of the fearful rider ought to be the main concern. (The book also acknowledges that a physical hindrance should not be ignored, but it is not necessary to become a specimen of physical perfection to ride without fear.)

The ultimate goal for every encounter between an equine and a human should be that both the horse and the rider are calmer after their time together. But how do you achieve such calm? It takes more than being told to "calm down." It takes the willingness to start where you are already calm, even if that means just standing beside the horse and brushing him or sitting at a desk, writing down your goals.

One of the ways to remember to breathe is to sing. Sing anything. It encourages correct breathing.

Always begin where you feel no fear, even if that means staying on the ground while your friends are riding. New fear-free memories of horses can be created anywhere: under saddle, on the ground, or even at home.

They say, "The only emotion to bring to the barn is a sense of humor"
We say, "If it were always easy for you to laugh, then you would never be afraid. Give yourself permission to bring all your emotions to the barn so you can work through them and let them go. Note that while it's ok to feel anger during the process you should not mistreat your horse."

They say, "Get back on the horse after a fall, runaway, or scare."
We say, "Stop and evaluate the situation. Do not get back on unless you are ready. Though others may say differently, you are not teaching your horse that a fall is the way to get out of a lesson, thus encouraging more of that behavior. Horses do not like being scared, and they do not try to get out of work by spooking themselves to the point that their flight instincts kick in."

Quite a few first-time riders who have fallen and gotten back on the horse actually stop riding altogether once they leave the scene of the accident. Every horse lover has heard friends say that they hate horses or are scared of horses because of a frightening childhood event. Maybe a horse ran away and they were forced to get back on and ride before they were ready. And that was likely the last time they rode. They were not allowed to recover emotionally and forced to ride in fear.

People may say you will be more scared the next time if you don't get back on, but that is not necessarily true.

One hard-and-fast rule of learning to ride fear free is this: if you are in a fearful state, do not get on the horse. If at any time you become fearful, stop. Completely remove yourself from the fearful situation and then reevaluate how to proceed from there. Only do what you are comfortable doing. If you cannot change your thinking, do not get on your horse, period.

The temptation to push yourself or allow yourself to be pushed by others will always exist. Most teachers have the best of intentions and desire to help you reach your goal. In fact, they will believe in you more than you believe in yourself. It's best to trust your teacher, right? Wrong. Only you can judge when it's time to move to the next step. Unless you are completely comfortable with the early steps of your lesson plan, you should not go further.

The solution to the problem of fear is emotional control which you achieve the same way a a horse learns to control its emotions - through pressure and release. You'll move to the boundary of your fear but not beyond, and do only what you are comfortable doing. Over time, the boundaries begin to move.

Processing time. By walking away immediately after trying something new, you progress along the learning curve faster than if you had drilled for hours. Taking time - days or weeks - between rides helps the brain better prepare itsel for the next time the rider attempts the new skill.

Traditionally there is an imbalance in the risk/reward ration. Usually riders take what they perceive to be a big risk and in exchange the return, a change in fear level, is small. Riding for three hours, feeling anxious the whole time, you will feel as though you survived but teh risk was not worth the reward. You rode despite fear. Riding Fear Free says it's not OK to feel fear at any stage in the process. Risks will always be small and you will add rewards.

Write a lesson plan. Define your fears on paper. Define your comfort zone. Define the final goal. Write as many steps as you can think of between your comfort zone and your goal. Starting at the comfort zone, add a microscopic step, then another. Ask yourself where do I feel in control, where would I feel OK if things got scary? Find a SAFE ENCLOSURE such as a roundpen, arena, or paddock. Stay in your comfort zone and stop and celebrate. Repeat, repeat, dismount. Review what happened mentally, then think about something else, like cooking dinner. Then mount and add a step (speed or duration). Add visualization. (I was glad to see the stress the book placed on the safe enclosure because that is what I recently prioritized, rightly so.)

Keep a journal of your emotions around your horse. Videotape an entire interaction with your horse - tacking up too. Do not be critical of your riding, focus on your emotions.

Asking good questions. In the moment, if you get scared, ask yourself some questions: Am I truly in danger or engaged in what-if thinking? Can I do something easier to lower my fear level? Is what I feel in proportion to what is happening? Compare your fear journal to the events in the video and notice when you felt fear and what you did. You will see that your reactions are out of proportion to reality.

If you feel your horse getting nervous, purprosefully startle him to release tension. (What? I don't get this concept.)

Distract yourself by singing, doing lateral work, visualizing a safe place.

Teach a one-rein stop and combine it with emergency dismounting.

Get an exercise ball and visualize an entire perfect trail ride, moving the ball as if it's a horse. Watch videos of people riding and pretend it's you. Even pretending creates perfect ride memories that replace fear memories. Watch videos of you riding.

Ride where you can but visualize riding where you can't yet. Ride in the indoor but pretend you're in the outdoor.

Do not force a horse over an obstacle if it's afraid. The goal is to stay calm and fear free. Dismount if you're afraid. In the indoor you can create a fake creek (a blanket) and visualize riding through water as you ride across.

Pressure and release for humans. Anytime you are in the saddle, your brain interprets it as a full ride and thus creates a new memory to help override fear. The brain understands mounting, sitting 5 seconds, and dismounting in the same way it understands mounting and walking 5 miles. The first ride for any fearful rider should be mounting and dismounting, ups and downs. They can be combined with visualization. 

Helpful activities. Being led. Playing follow the leader. Very short rides. Doing one thing well as a safe zone. Pick where you are going to die and imagine a fall there. Act out fear in a calm environment and replace it with good memories. Actually dismount and sit or lie in the scary spot you imagine a fall might occur. Then find  new spot. Practice lying down as if you had fallen. Practice tucking and rolling. (I like how the book doesn't say you have to practice purposefully falling off a trotting horse, which I've done and it sucks, the book says you can dismount and THEN fall.) Practice rein adjustment, and dropping and picking up reins. Slide off the horse in various ways. Do the Around the World exercise. These new activities raise and lower emotions in a controlled environment adding an element of fun.

By practicing techniques for dealing with lower levels of anxiety in a safe seetting, you learn ways to cope with higher levels of fear.

You will always be so focused on accomplishing the thing that scares you most that you will not be able to see all the steps that will help you there without fear. In fact, this focus on completing the physical task is one of the main problems with traditional approaches to dealing with riding fear. Both the rider and the trainer are focused on the wrong thing: achieving the riding goal. But the real goal is to ride fear free. Focusing on the task may or may not result in your being able to do that specific thing. But focusing on learning to ride fear free means you will have the tools and skills to achieve any riding goal, not just the one that scares you most now. If your goal is trail riding, you cannot start with the riding goal. Your goal is NOT actually trail riding, it's riding fear free. You must start where you feel no fear. Where is that? Can you get on and off without fear? Can you ride two steps without fear? As you begin to do the small steps, you will see how they add up to meeting both your riding goal and your general goal of fear free riding. 

The book has many sections addressed at riding instructors and how to best help fearful riders. I won't go into those parts but they are also valuable, teaching trainers how to raise and lower anxiety levels but keeping the rider in a comfort zone, how to pair correction with praise, how important phrasing is with students, how to deal with perfectionist students, etc.

The book ends with this: In the end if riding has become a task you feel you must do rather than what you love, it's perfectly OK to NOT ride. Your horse will not regret it if he is well cared for, you can spend time with him grooming and enjoying him and being enjoyed can be his job. Savor every moment because you can lose your horse in an instant, horses are fragile.