I just got an email back from Lukas finally, after asking repeatedly if he'd come back and help me now that Katharina has no time for me. He said he has no time for me.
Exactly as I did with Katharina, I replied, " Is it me, or my horse?" because I'm tempted to think he either can't handle my American weirdness or my horse's Arabianness.
I know he wasn't great - remember his first and last ride on Mag, where he jumped off as soon as Mag started misbehaving? And there was a lot of either total misunderstanding or flat out lies he told to S about things I said and did, I was shocked to find out. But I'm desperate for "professional" help and I'm running out of trainers in this area.
I lugged my saddle and all my tack upstairs into storage after carefully cleaning. What a sad thing to do, but I don't see any chances of riding coming up.
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15 comments:
I feel so bad for you. Keep looking, help will come!
I am so emotional today because it is election day.and I've been on the FB page PantsuitNation all morning, and my heart is anxious but rejoicing. But this makes me so very sad in so many ways. It's hard to put it into words. I think it's because I feel so helpless for you, Lytha.
I wish I was closer. I would ride him for you. Arabians do not scare me and I have done all of the training on Ashke myself. I think we could at least get him out on trail safely.
OK, first, I just wanted to write a pep talk. I included that below. But if you don't want that, then that is OK too. NOT a criticism! One option moves you forward closer to your dreams, and one keeps you in the place you currently are. Some people feel safer where they are, and some move forward more quickly. Choose what works.
(this is a pep talk I originally wrote. But then I felt like I was being too critical. I'm not, please do what works for you and makes you safe)
Don't give up, because you can do this. Get that tack back out. Go for a hand-walk with tack on. Wear a helmet, or a safety vest, whatever you like. Walk for however long—days, weeks. At one point maybe you decide to get on and he can carry you up a hill, or down a smooth, easy path. Get off and feel good. Or scared. But then do it again anyway. Because you are stronger than your fear. One foot, one hoof at a time.
(just based on my experience. But I know that I had a silly young horse. And I was scared a lot of the time. But I just had to work through it. Over and over. On the trail. Hand-walking, then literally getting on for an uphill, or short, flat, open trail. And fall back and step forward and make a partnership.)
OK, that was way too long. Longer than your own post! Erase if you don't want to post, I understand.
Don't give up, and don't settle for inferior trainers. Keep searching, there must be a way to trailer him to a trainer you respect. Drive yourself to local schooling shows, watch lessons, travel to barns, even barns a distance away. Keep your saddle down, and saddle him up and walk him on your walks. Keep doing everything you can think of to do on your own. Help will come eventually. You have a lot of common sense, and that will help you get thru this. Wishing you all the best!
Carol
Can you find a place where you can take lessons on a school horse? THE worst thing you can do is stop riding.
I can understand where you're coming from. I have a nice large pasture and a round pen. I don't canter my horse under saddle because the pasture is too big, and he tends to buck out there when I lunge him at the canter. The round pen feels too small. I need to figure out something better. But I keep riding him, I'm getting a better feel for him in everything but the canter.
I'm in agreement with Irish Horse! There was a time when I was on medication that was making me feel horrible. I told myself , I will just saddle my horse and sit on him. Once that was done, I usually stayed on longer. Set a goal. Saddle Mag up and think, Today I will walk him until I get to such and such point. Then I will ride him to such and such point. Lytha, Yes, you can! Get a protective vest if it will help your confidence. Irish Horse, thank you! Lytha, yes, you can!
I agree, get that saddle out, do his groundwork tacked up. One day in the near or far future you'll hop on up!
I like what Irish horse said as well! Her (his?) advice is golden. You can do it.
I'm with the pep talkers: Mag can do this and so can you. You probably need more input from a trainer...how about somebody who will watch a video of you working, and give some input.
Hell, this is 2016, if I can play Dungeons and Dragons via Skype, maybe we should figure out a way to get an instructor to Skype with you and Mag.
Part of the problem I think I see is that the bar to become an instructor in Germany seems to be quite low. As here, there is no requirement -- but here, it's a terrible way to make a living unless you really love eating ramen. So, anybody can call him/herself a "trainer" or an "instructor" and some people are fabulous but most, of course, are not.
Of course, there's also the "you're an American and Mag is an Arab" thing. I don't know how to overcome that.
I am in agreement with the people who have said to set small goals. Even if it is just to tack him up and sit on him. You don't need an arena for that. Get whatever makes you feel safe, but waiting and waiting will not make him suddenly better, nor will it make a trainer suddenly appear.
I am not in any way criticizing you, each person moves at their own pace. I just feel that I have listened to say over and over that you do not like the way many "trainers" in Germany do things. You are also very passionate about your breed. So find a way to make what you do have work. You can do it!
Don"t give up, do as the other ladies said. Walk him, study his walking habits, then try a short ride. Try working on the walking and riding and let a couple of the small things go, he can learn them after you two are a real couple. That will come. You are not a quitter, you face the Germans every day and that is not always easy. I have been there and met some difficult Germans.
I agree with the others that perhaps it's time to try and keep riding, regardless if it's on your own horse or if you need to step back and set the most basic of goals, ie sitting on the horse, long lining, or what not.
Girl, TRAIN HIM. Don't give up, bring the tack back down, and train him. TRAIN. HIM.
You can do it! You just have to believe in yourself. Don't give up on him or yourself. As weird as this sounds I got more confident the more Chrome misbehaved because I learned his threshold. I learned that he has a limit to how much he escalates. That's what always scared me was the unknown. With a broke horse someone can tell you what the worst thing they will do is, but a green horse is a big unknown. You'll never learn what the worst he's capable of is if you don't try. You will probably be pleasantly surprised when you realize his worst isn't that bad like I did with Chrome.
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