Sunday, August 21, 2016

"Crewing" a Western horse show

The lady with the nice arena, T, asked me to come help her at a horse show. In an effort to repay her for letting me use her arena last Spring, I had to say yes. I hate crewing (I've only crewed two endurance rides) because I wanna ride, not watch. Selfish, yes.

J said bring a rain coat. I said "No, I just put sunscreen on" and sunglasses, and wore only shorts and a tshirt........and it was the coldest day of the Summer, and I was trapped. I was 15 minutes early and it started raining, and I had no where to go, I just got wet. My backpack contained an ice pack for my snack, and a frozen water bottle. I was still thinking it was Summer. Something leaked so every time I wore my backpack, I iced my back.

As I type this my fingers are tingling, the feeling slowly coming back.

When she finally arrived she needed someone else to help unload her horse who was not me, because she didn't trust me. She's got the horse almost trailer trained, but it takes two people still. Nothing wrong with that, but I felt useless. A foreshadowing of the entire day.

The first thing I said after she tied up her horse was "How can I help you?"

She answered, "You can just keep quiet because I need to concentrate."

Nice way to start the day, huh?

It was harder than I thought, just standing there not helping, and not saying a word. She was in the horse show zone, which I recall well. You are completely stressed and imagining everything that can go wrong.



Waiting for her to arrive, amused by the cars that pull trailers.



These people had the only camping set up, and it looked as if they actually camped!




They had three awings: one for the horse (!) and two between their vehicles. A little grill too, how nice! The US flag on the horse was silly though. People love to dress up Quarter Horses in American stuff.




After she saddled, I saw some clumps of saddle soap that hadn't been rubbed in, so I started rubbing them in with a finger. She saw me doing that and said, "Stop that, you're upsetting my horse!"






Her Arabian, 16 years old, was trembling in the trailer, but holding it together well, surrounded by motionless Quarter Horses. Head up, eyes wide, he was the opposite of relaxed, but experienced enough to not act up.

I told her she had the prettiest horse at the show, oops, that was talking. She said nothing.

She lunged him in a round pen and someone came up and said, "I need to use this round pen, I have a stallion." I thought, oh, do you need special privileges cuz you have a stallion? Eventually I heard screaming and there goes the stallion, to another area. He was easy to keep track of all day.

Then finally T entered the warm up ring, and the warm up arena, and for the next TWO HOURS she warmed up. I could not even imagine a warm up lasting that long. The good thing is, her horse is fit enough to not be exhausted from such a warm up. He just got more and more relaxed and at ease, which is good, but two hours!! I was a popsicle, standing there holding T's things. That was pretty  much all I did for her, follow her from arena to arena, holding her lunge whip, helmet bag, and lunge line. And jacket, a thin rain shell that did not keep me warm at all when I finally put it on.



Almost directly after taking this photo I lost her. She would go from arena to arena and not tell me, and I looked frantically everywhere until finally finding her in a far off arena. I saw a girl who housesat for us once and wanted to say hello, but I dared not walk away in case T needed me.


I did take photos and video for her, I thought she'd appreciate that. She got last place in her first class, and second to last in her second. She actually smiled when she got her ribbons, she was thrilled. I imagine, thrilled to be DONE!

It bothered me when she came to the rail but never came to me, instead, she chatted with other people she knew. I felt worse than useless at that point.

People kept smoking cigarettes IN the arenas. I was freezing cold and being enveloped by smoke. There were ash trays in the indoors, so I guess it's allowed.

There were no men showing, all the men were helping their wives, giving them drinks, helping them get in and out of costume, etc. There were so many grouchy faces I remembered why I didn't like showing. Only one person smiled in the warmup, this teenager who was having a blast on her horse. She made it look fun, while everyone else looked about to explode into rage.

I didn't like the nonstop spurring, how can a horse need to be spurred every stride at a walk? Ugh. But the gentle, rewarding riders were fun to see, in contrast. One lady even PATTED her horse every so often.

One thing I found interesting - the announcer gave the contestants commands in English! "Jog your horses please." But he said, "Stop your horses please" and don't we usually say halt?

Another thing, some riders had obviously home-made outfits and matching saddle blankets - some of them very fancy. T had one of the obviously home-made ones, but you could only tell up close, it looked great, I thought.




Suddenly I saw my friend Christiane and she was shocked to see me and asked me what I was doing. I said, "Helping, but not much I guess." Later she said, "Will I see you again?" I answered, "I don't know" but the show was over, we were done. It was pouring rain sideways, and I gave T her jacket as she left the arena at last. 

At the trailer as she unsaddled I got the horse's cooler ready because he was soaked in sweat and I didn't want him to freeze. I unfolded the cooler and stood 2 meters away from him, holding it. I said, "Would you like me to put this on as soon as you take the saddle off?" And she said, "Put that down, you're scaring him with it!" I couldn't believe it. The horse was just standing there, he hadn't even looked at me.

Then she had me help with the butt bar and she thanked me and drove away. I walked to my car in the pouring rain smiling to myself about what an odd day it was, and how much more awful it was than I could have imagined. I thought it would be bad.....*lol*

A week ago I joked to Bakersfield Dressage Karen, "This won't be fun, Germans have no sense of humor." I actually felt guilty after I typed that. But I don't feel guilty anymore. I thought T was one of the nice ones (kind of crazy, but nice at least). Now I know horse show stress and German brutal bluntness are not a nice combo.

When I took my lunch out of my backpack, it was frozen! And my ice water, it was still ice water.

I can feel my fingers finally.

18 comments:

Carol Anne said...

I give you lots of credit for sticking with it.....I think I would have gotten fed up and left. I wonder what her thinking was when she asked you to be her groom, but didn't want any help and was always concerned that you were "scaring" her horse (even though he was obviously fine)...
I enjoy grooming for friends and people I know (showing is too stressful for me). I usually get an idea from them as far as what they want me to do before we even get to the show. I don't think I could ever groom for someone I didn't know well. You are very kind for all you did for someone who didn't seem to appreciate your efforts (..and in my opinion, was rude).

Camryn said...

Wow, how rude to treat you like a nonexistent minion. I'd have a a difficult time not calling her out. Wonder why she even asked for your help?

lytha said...

KA, I am often guilty of hyperbole but honestly this time I did not exaggerate, I said exactly what happened. "Rude" is something different in Germany, what we call rudeness they call honesty/forthrightness. I'm positive she had no idea how "honest" she was being.

A conversation from last week with S:
S- Don't be mad but you should not be trimming hooves if you're not a professional farrier. I know I'm being blunt.
Me- You're usually blunt, this time you noticed: )
S- Oops, it's cuz I'm German. You Americans are never, ever blunt.
*lol*

Camryn, I wonder too! I really need the use of an arena, so I can't say anything to her. If she ever asks again though, I'll have to say "You didn't need me."

Bakersfield Dressage said...

What a funny story, Lytha! My best friend would have kicked me in the ass had I behaved like that! I hate to sound culturally insensitive, but maybe the rudeness is a German thing. I go to a fair amount of shows, and it is VERY common to see people helping out complete strangers. I've had many people offer to hold my horse and do a variety of small chores for me. I ALWAYS look for a way to help out as well - at a show a few weeks ago I polished the boots of a rider who was doing her first show.

I've been friends with my best friend for more than 20 years, so we know each other pretty well. She's happy to stand around and let me do what I need to do, but she's also quick to ask if she can do "blank." She was an endurance rider when I was still competing so she knows what needs to be done. On the other hand, she knows when I just need to do it myself.

I bet that your rider just needed another human in case of an emergency. I would try to cut her a little slack - she was probably so stressed out by the show that she forgot her manners completely. With that said, I don't think I'd agree to be her groom again. If she asks, I'd simply say, "I don't think you really need me. You did such an amazing job without my help last time." And if she replies that you did help her, I'd say, I am not really sure how I was helpful to you. What would you specifically like for me to?"

All in all, you got to check out a show, which is always at least interesting. And about the quarter horse draped in a sheet sporting the American flag, I find that quite complimentary. Quarter horses ARE an American product after all. I guess it's very much like using a saddle pad with your horse's warmblood registry embroidered on the side. :0)

lytha said...

Karen, please see my comment above yours from 10 minutes before yours: ) Somehow I think German flags on horse blankets are fine, but American flags on horses make me cringe. Probably because of the love/hate Germans have for my country.

Nuzzling Muzzles said...

You pretty much described most of my volunteer job experiences. I've learned that just because I volunteer my time and energy, it doesn't mean that people will treat me with respect and appreciate it. I've walked off volunteer jobs and been fired from others for not performing perfectly even though the job was not in my skill set and I was forced to do it.

I would have been tempted to say, "Oh, this is scaring your horse? Well, let me desensitize it to it..." That's what any of my horse trainers would have done. I had one trainer who would say, "Oh, you don't want to ride next to the road because you're scared what your horse will do? Alright, let's go..." and she'd grab my lead rope and force me down the side of the road. But, of course, I would have only done something like that after the show, lest she blame me for losing. Hey! On the bright side, since she didn't let you do much, at least she can't blame you for losing, right?

lytha said...

NM, *snort* I guess the deeper question I should ponder is why did she think her horse was scared when he was not? Oh screw it. You made me chuckle though with your first sentence.

AareneX said...

You aren't exactly encouraging me to take up showing, you know! :-)

Although I gotta say that when the Fish Creek gang goes to a show, it's an oversized but well-oiled machine. I almost wouldn't mind "crewing" a show for them...maybe when Duana gets her young horse legged up I'll have the opportunity!

hammerhorses said...

I'm with the others! I would have left! I did yell at my husband the other day at the lesson I went to with my Arabian mare, because he almost let the trailer door slam into her while I was trying to load her. She freaked out, pulled me off of the trailer, and it took me a good 30mins to load her after that 😥 to be fair to myself it could have gotten me or the mare hurt. He's not a horse person. But he tried and we discussed it after. I do feel a bad about it.

When I finally get the guts to show her, I'll enlist an actual horse person to help. Just in case I need an actual "oh crap!" Person!

Kitty Bo said...

I am once again shaking my head about the Germans, laughing at your sense of humor, and wishing I could give you a big hug just for surviving all that. I wish I could have gone with you just to experience it, dressed for the cold rain though. There was a small Western show my kids would participate in, and everybody was nice. I loved jumping and dressage schooling shows I participated in because people were nice. The first time I went to observe at the big regional dressage show, I was amazed at how friendly people were. Likewise at a show jumping show. Only place people's noses were in the air was at a hunter show. I find it boring anyway compared to show jumping.

I love what Nuzzling Muzzles said,also, and it made me laugh, but then the Germans seem to prefer to baby their horses fears.

Kitty Bo said...

BTW, I enjoyed seeing the Appy in the picture. Any idea how it did?

EvenSong said...

One thing I really enjoy about our local 4H shows is that the kids (not just girls!) and their parents all pretty much know each other, and, with few exceptions, help each other out! And even at the biggest show of the year, the county Junior Horse Fair, the judge even does some coaching/encouraging after each class is awarded.
My mountain trail competitions are also pretty laid back. (I worked on the fringes of the A circuit for awhile back east when I was [much] younger, and didn't really like the cutthroat competition.)
I like Bakersfield Dressage's approach to your situation, should T ask again...
(Oh, and Aarene, you can come groom for me!)

TeresaA said...

Wow. I would have left and assume that she wouldn't have noticed. You are a good person to stick it out. You better get back in her ring again.

lytha said...

Aarene, Fiddle would like horse agility I think, and that can't be as stressful!

Stephanie, it sucks when husbands help and get hurt: (

KB, I'm sorry to say I didn't see any class with the appy in it, but I really liked that horse in the warmup. I always play the game "If I had to take home one of these horses which one?" And it was the appy! See it was one of the horses with the most natural movement. Actually only one had *totally crippled* Western Pleasure gaits, but the appy was one of the best trained, and was a pleasure to watch. Its rump was so clean it was pink, and I wanted to ask if it had a natural tail, cuz it was so thick. But people don't talk to strangers here. She stopped the appy right in front of me on the rail and adjusted her outfit for a long time while he chewed on the wooden rail. So cute! Another girl came up and used a rag on his eyes and nose. The girl had wicked long pink fake nails and I was thinking careful, careful! I wanted to take a photo but they were right there. There was only one other appy. Three or four paints, one blue-eyed cremello, two fjords, one haflinger (one!?)) and tons of massive quarter horses, just massive. I wonder if they were half warmblood. The cremello was, the husband proudly explained. And eventually two other ARABIANS showed up and were wonderfully well trained, relaxed, had swinging happy gaits, and one was the only horse that I saw get a pat on the neck all day.

Evensong, 4H killed me as a kid cuz I was a city kid and had no horse, only rabbits at the fairs. I would finish up my rabbit show and run to the horse area and feel bitterly sorry for myself.

Teresa, I'm so scared she's gonna come by with flowers or cake or some other gift I don't want!


AareneX said...

Evensong, I'll crew for you! maybe if you have one of those agility thingies when I'm not committed elsewhere, I'll even bring Fiddle.

The rest? I'm just gonna go ride in the woods.

Sirje said...

Wow. What a bitch. I don't care how stressed out she is, or how German, there is no reason to be that rude to anyone, especially not someone who is helping for free. You were very gracious.... I would have asked her after the first bitchy comment if she was planning on speaking to everyone like that today, or just me. But I tend to dish it right back.

lytha said...

Sirje,

I delivered the photos/videos to her mailbox yesterday and sure enough, she sent me an SMS asking if I'd come to the next two horse shows, that we make a great team. Oh boy. I'll do as I said and say "You didn't need me."

Camryn said...

Yeah, I'd backstroke my way out of doing that again too.