Yesterday I spent 55 minutes in a creek inviting Mag to join me, but not asking or forcing him. It was quite a trip.
I decided that Mag could choose one of two lessons. Patience (on both our parts), or water crossing. He could choose to either cross the water or choose to stand there and not go anywhere as long as he likes. He chose BOTH lessons. He tried everything he could to not go into the water, and I never once pulled on the rope or asked him. I just stood on the other side, or mostly IN the water, learning patience myself, and letting him reach out and touch me with his nose. He didn't really ever stand still, but he understood that he was in control of the situation.
I was hit with these waves of impatience every so often but was able to dismiss them and tell myself "We're just standing here. That's all, and it's not even raining on us." (Though it hailed lightly twice.)
He was overcome with waves of impatience too, he'd start "landscaping" - digging holes into the bedrock.
Eventually he was playing with some oak branches that were in the water, picking them up and dropping them, removing the bark, and I realized after 30 minutes that he was 6 inches closer to the water with his hooves. Several times he put his nose into the water. I've been through water with him and he stood in a deep puddle earlier and pooped in it (!) so I don't think he's afraid of water. But I wasn't going to push him.
Finally he accidentally had one hoof in the water for a moment, and then suddenly both front hooves. I laughed and said that's fine, you can choose what to do next, and he crossed the creek with no jumping or spooking. As promised (in my mind) we just walked home and didn't do anything else. He deserved to move forward after all that.
I was thinking of Mark Rashid in a storm for 2 hours while the horse he was on refused to go into the stream. He just waited and that worked, because asking or telling the horse would not work.
It's harder than it sounds, doing nothing at all.
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11 comments:
I'm ADHD, patience is not one of my virtues. Channeling Mark Rashid does help
I have found that approach successful too. It works for water, trailer loading, etc
Camryn, I wish I could say what a mind trip it was for me to not request what I wanted.
TA, I was thinking about trailer loading at the time too. I wish you'd explain in detail your experiences with "not asking"!
I remember reading a book that advised, when teaching a young horse to cross water, "Pack a book. And a lunch.". Good advice!
My dear Aarene, really, try it sometime and give me an account of your perceptions and emotional status during the endeavor. It was such an eye opener for me. You seem to have the tools already. Have you got a young horse?
So . . . you have “the patience of a Saint”? :)Am glad to hear that you were able to hold on and let Mag decide to make the water crossing. Isn't it nice to be partners in getting something done? As TeresaA said, it works well in other areas too. Here's a YouTube link to "Trailer Loading the Varian Way" by Sheila Varian of Varian Arabians (Arabian breeder of 60+ years). I’ve seen this training done by her at two of her clinics and the results are amazing – using light pressure and release, patience and kindness. She is such a great horsewoman and loves to share all that she has learned in her many years with horses. And, yes, patience is a virtue! LOL
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfyia8FsOY4
Oh my gosh, not only am I trying to do less, I'm trying to teach the critters in my life that doing less is better too! Especially with my dogs. We all need to simplify sometimes! :)
I'm working with an adult horse right now while Fee rehabs. Calief (SP???) is still testing me, but he seriously gives up so easily.
Fee was a different story. I was happy that I had heaps of emails to answer via my phone while I waited for her to capitulate.
N04- Sheila sure has instincts around horses - she can read their minds. I love watching her work. I had not seen that one before, it was great because it's a method specifically developed for Arabians, who do not need plastic bags on sticks to put pressure on. Amazingly sensitive horses where just gently lying a whip across their backs is enough pressure to get them very interested in trailer loading. Wow. Wish I could borrow a trailer to work with. I'm afraid Mag's trailer experiences have been all bad so far.
The patience of a saint? Well if it had been raining, or if it had taken 2 hours and not 1 hour, then maybe I'd be saint-like. And probably saints don't get those waves of overwhelming impatience, "Just get the horse across the water NOW!"
Kate, the dog whisperer has this great concept of not greeting your dog when you come home, or something - he says it also can be applied to when your husband comes home. It removes the excitement and pressure from that moment. I've tried to apply it a little, just not bombarding my husband with my day the moment he comes home. Unless the toilet is actually running over at that moment...anyway you comment made me think of that. You probably know more about it than I do if you have dogs.
Aarene, you using a smartphone while on a horse. I have never seen that nor can I imagine it. But then at some point you started blogging about endurance rides -- FROM RIDECAMP. I guess the world has changed. Wait, did you say emails? People still use email to talk? *claps*
I trained Fee to cross water ten years ago. We still had email then...hell, I'm pretty sure the neighbors still had cable then.
(different neighbors, the road to the farm STILL doesn't have cable)
Patience isn't my strong point either haha. It does work though, as you saw with Mag!
The not greeting the dog as soon as you get home does work! I've always done that with my dog. Now he's so good I can talk to him calmly and scratch him behind the ear. All he does it wag his tail and enjoy it. He doesn't jump around or up and or whine or anything. Heck most of the time he doesn't even get off the ottoman lol. I never thought about it in regards to husbands... my husband would prefer he did that. He says he needs to unwind after work, so I've been trying to leave him alone.... of course by the time he's ready to socialize I've completely lost interest and would rather read my book.... so it might not be helping with the communication thing LOL! I'm the opposite. When I get home from work I'm extremely amped up and want to talk about everything and then later be left alone to recover from all of it. Sigh, being opposite keeps things interesting, but it's hard!
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