Another litany of mistakes

Not again.

Why do I have to learn the hard way how to truly take small steps with Mara?

 

All week I was excited to ride with Nadine on her Paintabian. Her horse is very calm and experienced and is a great influence on Mara, the few times I’ve run into them out there.

I showed up early at Herr S’s so I could lunge a bit – that went well, no bucking.

But the farrier was there putting shoes on, and Nadine’s horse was later on the list, so I had to wait 2 hours. I thought waiting might be good for Mara, so I stayed there instead of going back home, and they let me put Mara in a stall.

During this time one of Nadine’s dogs bit two people, one being Herr S. Great. I kept my hands away from that dog so I wouldn’t get bit. Nadine yelled at her dog a lot but never tied it up.

Then Nadine told me that Sonja was going with, on her Icelandic mare. I sighed inwardly – that wasn’t part of my plan. My plan was to ride out with Nadine alone, but oh well. That was mistake #1, agreeing to go out in a “group” of 3, when I knew Mara reacted so badly that other time riding out with two. But since this would be our home territory, I thought it would be fine. I was wrong.

So I had to wait for the Icelandic to get her plastic horseshoes nailed on, and then another hour for Nadine’s horse to get his plastic shoes put on.

Finally we headed out, and mistake #2 – WITH 2 DOGS. I thought this might be a good training opportunity cuz I don’t  know if Mara knows about dogs. I was wrong – or, right, I guess…it was a training opportunity, just a very stressful one.

Nadine assured me they would be going slow – a “walking ride”- because both horses had new shoes on. I trusted her. Mistake #3.

Nadine got right on her cell phone – I’ve never seen her not talk on her cell phone whilst riding. Even when I just run into her out there momentarily, and we stop to talk, her phone will ring and she will talk. I consider this very rude, I mean, if you’re alone it’s OK, but if you’re riding with others, talking about your day on the phone, it’s just wrong.

Also, I find it a lot easier to be calm/enjoy my horse when I’m able to chat with the other rider – it gets my focus off of Mara. Nadine and Sonja were chatting amongst themselves almost the entire time, leaving me out due to my language barrier. Occasionally they’d ask me a question but that was about it. Often they had to repeat themselves with me, and I’m sure that annoyed them.

Sonja had to adjust her stirrups at one point and that just standing there was hard for Mara, but we did it.

Then as we travelled along,  the dogs started being a problem. One of them would just take off through the woods after something, and be gone a long while, and the other dog was frantically pacing back and forth amidst hooves, wondering where she’d gone. Nadine would yell and yell but that biting dog would not come back.

Until it would suddenly spring out of the bushes under Mara’s nose and freak her out. The worst was when the dog was way behind us, and had to come running. It was running up behind us full speed and Mara was in the rear, and she just couldn’t take it – I’m sure she’s never gone out with dogs because she fruck out so badly I was about to emergency dismount when she finally stopped. Nadine yelled at the dog again, but by this time Mara was hyperalert watching dogs/wondering where dogs were. I couldn’t help but also look around for that dog, which wasn’t helpful for Mara. She was not calm by any means, even though she was following the other plodding-along horses.

Getting her accustomed to dogs is something I would choose to do, just not at this stage. I’d prefer to do one new thing at a time with her.

Mara was chomping her bit in anxiety the entire ride, and jigged a little bit but I was able to dissuade her. She also tossed her head like crazy the entire 2 hours, flipping it up so I could see her nose repeatedly. She was trying to express that this was just too stimulating. I just ignored the head tossing, or bumped her with my heels to distract her.

She was very frustrated at our slow pace. In fact I think it was like torture for her. The thing is, I know she’s good at trotting/cantering on trails. She needs to learn to just walk too.

Then we came to this huge hill and Nadine said, “Do you want to trot?” and I sighed inwardly – I should have known they wouldn’t just walk – and I said, “If I can lead.” She looked surprised and said, “OK but you have to take care of the dogs if you’re in the lead.” Whatever that means.

I let Mara trot and she was very enthusiastic. We trotted a good long ways, Mara panting and huffing. Finally we got to the top and I slowed to a walk. Nadine said, “That’s all?” but I don’t like trotting downhill in that saddle.

But Mara was worked up, it was too exciting. I put her in the back again and she tossed her head nonstop in frustration.

Then the ladies wanted to trot again and this time they didn’t let me take the lead, so I had a very anxious horse trying to keep up with them.

After that, Sonja started to realize that Mara was very stressed and she offered to slow down. I thanked her and said, “Just no faster please.”

Sonja kept looking over her shoulder at us, over and over, wondering at how stressed Mara was. Sonja said, “She’ll calm down if you ride with us more often!” which was sweet, to which Nadine answered, “Mara will calm down when her rider does.” Nice.

Then Nadine said, “The reason she’s so stressed is probably cuz she lives with a donkey and not in a herd.”

Even more nice. I know a lot of people are critical of my situation, but I think they should try being in that situation before passing judgment. I am so not ready to buy another horse.

Anyway, that is the German way of saying what you think without caring how it comes across. She thought she was helping me by telling me that.

Then we came to this huge hill and both riders took off at a fast trot without warning me. This hill was very steep and rocky and turns to pavement near the top. I trotted after them, and when Mara started cantering, I yelled for her to just trot and they looked back and I finally said, “Can we slow down?” They did and then when we hit pavement, they said, “Let’s trot” and I said, “No please, not here.” At this point I’m sure Nadine was very put out, cuz she started talking on her cell phone and rode far ahead of us with her dogs.

Then Sonja did exactly what I would have done with a rider having trouble with a young horse – she rode very slowly, blocking Mara, and asked if she should slow down even more (what would have been almost stationary, her horse is so slow). I said, “Thank you Sonja, you are so sweet.”

It drove Mara crazy but the funny thing is, she somehow knew she had to stay behind that big red Icelandic butt with the poofy blond tail. If I urged her to pass to ride alongside, Mara would just keep her nose at the tail. OK then, that’s great. Mara was lathered and wet but she was WALKING, which is the most important thing. Head tossing like crazy, but not jigging thank God.

The entire time I rode on a loose rein with just the tiniest bit of slack, but Mara tried maybe 200 times to yank the reins out of my hands, and every time, it did not work. Very bad habit – but that will fade. I don’t know how she isn’t hurting her mouth, yanking so hard, so often. That’s a school horse trick and the former owner said they were trying to make her a school horse until they figured out it wasn’t working.

When we finally got back to Herr S’s, I jumped off right in the street, and said, “Thanks Nadine, Thanks Sonja, for all your help.”

It would be great if I could just ride out with Sonja. I’ll have to get her number. She’s a sweetheart and really tried to take care of me and Mara. Also, next time I catch her alone, I’ll tell her how much I appreciate it, and how I would have done the same.

Oh, one last mistake – we rode for 2.5 hours and I think that is too long for Mara at this point, because I’m sure she’s body sore from fighting me the entire time, and making her sore will make her hate working. I didn’t know where we were going to ride, and it did go out to an area I’d never been. It was a lovely loop though, I look forward to doing it lots of times in the future when Mara is more settled.

Sunday all I did with Mara was clean her feet, and just hang out with them in the field.

Too much, too soon, I need to break it down and introduce new things slowly. That is my plan, I just need to figure out how to do it. I think a good strategy is to ask Nadine and Sonja if I can join them for the first ¼ of their ride, before they start trotting all over the place, and before Mara gets too worked up, and then split off and go home. I’m sure they’ll think that’s odd but I’ll explain that I need to take small steps.