Ewigkeitssonntag (Day of the dead)

Today is "Eternity Sunday" or "Dead Sunday" and my man really wanted to go to church for the memorial service. I'd never gone on this day, I guess, and never took part in the nationwide memorial for Germany's absent citizens.
The thing is, with my own tragedy, I still don't want to be around people I know. So my man picked another church in his church circle in Wuppertal. He had actually spoken to the pastor beforehand, asking him specifically what the sermon would be about, to see if I could handle it. It as about the New Heaven and New Earth, where wolves and lambs live in peace, and predators become vegetarian, no one harms any other. Isaiah 65. I wanted to wear all black and I wanted to go. I had no idea it was a funeral for all the deceased of 2012, that I wouldn't be the only one crying. I kept trying to stop because I didn't lose a family member, "just a horse", but it was helpless, I was sucked into the grieving of so many today, my man had to use his tissues too. The pastor was this wild looking man - tall, bent over, and with crazy curly hair. His sincerity struck me as he spoke. He said we've all lost someone we loved this year, in this small church. We've lost a friend, a child, a partner, a horse, a wife... I jerked in my seat - did he say horse? He did. He looked out and saw me and added my loss to everyone's. Then he read the names of 77 people who died this year and lit a candle for every single one of them. Part of his sermon grabbed me because I hadn't heard anyone else say this. He said that our life will be remembered as a dream, when we are in Heaven. I knew I had to speak to him. After, it was so easy - no one else wanted to talk to him apparently. This doesn't usually happen, pastors are usually so popular. He took 5 minutes to just talk to us. I said that is *my* belief, that we'll remember our human lives as we remember dreams, vague, dark, unpleasant,...not nightmares, but not entirely good. We also won't want to spend much energy thinking about this dream. I wish I knew if CS Lewis gave me this idea originally..I'll have to look. Tonight German cemeteries are all lit up with red grave candles - I bet if there was a power outage, a satellite photo would be just amazing. There are laws protecting this federal holiday. There are laws against parties and celebrations today that would diminish the spirit of mourning. I know that starting tomorrow it is finally OK to turn on my Christmas lights. I always cheated and turned them on before Totensonntag, but I'll never do this again. I'll respect this holiday the rest of my life.