Lesson 5: Final lesson - Shock and Disgrace

Shock

I was happy to see that lady Elizabeth getting her horse ready next to Danny, she’s really nice.
I pulled Danny out and tried to pick his LF hoof and he kicked at me! I couldn’t believe it! He pinned his ears, rammed into me, and kicked out with a hind leg. I rammed back into him, pushing him away, and he got mad and kicked out again. I yelled at him QUIT! And yanked on his halter (being careful not to grab the panic snap which I usually do and it just releases the horse!).

Shock: Elizabeth steps up and says, “HEY! You can’t treat that horse like that! He’s just having a bad day!”

She started caressing his face, talking baby talk to him, saying, “Oh Danny you’re ok, you’re ok!”

She told me, "Horses are people too, you have to understand that!" Too late I had a good reply to that, "On my bad days, I don't endanger someone's life."

Then a lady needed to lead her horse down the aisle, where we all groom, so she asked me to move Danny over. I tried, and this time he kicked out with both hinds together. He was pissed! I yelled at him again and pushed him over.

Elizabeth ran over and held a carrot up to him, saying, “You have to just distract him when he doesn’t want to behave. Give him a carrot.” (omgosh) I yanked the carrot out of her hand and said, “HE DOESN”T GET A CARROT FOR KICKING!” and I gave the carrot to her mare instead. I’m sure at this point Elizabeth thinks I’m the most cruel person she’s ever seen around horses.

The lady was still waiting and I told her, “I have no idea if you can safely pass. I can put him in his stall to be sure.” And Elizabeth said, “Oh yes, just put him in his stall!” so we did. Two ladies shoving a naughty horse into a stall to avoid an accident with a passing horse. I felt ridiculous but I had no way of ensuring her safety.

I started to put the saddle on and Danny started biting the air, pinning his ears. I said, “That’s it, I’m not doing this. I’m not going to let THIS HORSE put me in the hospital, or cripple me for life!” (Because I don’t exactly have fun or learn anything on him. If I’m gonna be crippled by a horse, it’s gonna be one that I actually wanted to ride.)

Elizabeth said, “Oh just be gentle with him – here, I’ll do it.” And she saddled him. I was glad to not have to do it, and realizing the entire time that he could really nail her and she might even be permanently injured. But she wanted to do it, it’s her choice.

I was able to get his bridle on with no problem and I led him to the arena and jumped on him with no problem. Then I asked my trainer to ride him. I had to know, can anyone ride this horse well?

Disgrace

I carefully observed how she was able to get him to collect. She did what looked like heavy see-sawing but was probably more like heavy forward and back with her inner hand. She mostly trotted him around in circles and didn't do transitions. He braced and pulled, and she couldn't help pulling back when trying to transition to stop him.

Although he was very heavy with her, but actually managed to drop his head from his normal nose-in-air position.

After 10 minutes I got on but could not accomplish that. She told me to trot around her and left hand right hand left hand right hand, she kept telling me more left, more right, over and over. It made no impact and nothing was changing. Just like our last lesson, we were getting nowhere.

Finally I decided to ignore her for a moment and go back in my mind to training Baasha – how did we teach him this? Well we started with standing still, or walking. No trotting until the horse understood the cue. Then it worked, I did it! He dropped his head and walked a complete circle politely, lightly on the bit, seeming to understand. The trainer said nothing. This is where a real trainer would say, “Wow, you did it! Good work, so, what did you do? Do you remember exactly what you did?” Instead she just said, “OK trot and see if you can keep that.” So we lost it. That was it for the lesson.

At one point I had him at a standstill and I asked him to drop his nose. He didn’t, so I tapped with my heels. I kept asking, wiggling the reins, tapping with my heels, and he just didn’t know what I wanted. I was at a loss. Then the trainer said, “You know what, you really are brutal sometimes.” !!! OK this might have been rough, what I was doing (even with a snaffle, no spurs, no whip) but the thing is, where was the instruction? Where was the alternative idea from the instructor?

At one point we were standing still, I was taking a moment to breathe deeply and let the horse relax into a halt, something he hates to do, and she said, "Let him chew the reins out of your hands." That is a great idea, so I did, all the way down to the buckle. And he really did relax! I was happy and then she suddenly snapped at me, "Not ALL the way down! Now look, you have no reins." 

She gave up on me after about 15 minutes. She just started staring at the other riders riding around on Spanish horses, whipping them with every stride to get a Spanish walk, and Fresians on the ground being trained with whips to Spanish walk.

My trainer was done with me although our lesson was not finished, she said, “Just ride around” because she had given up.

Well if I wasn’t going to get anything from her, I wasn’t able to do much because the arena was full, so I just walked circles around an absent instructor, until she finally went and sat down with her friends, leaving me.

5 minutes later she told me from where she was sitting, "Praise him", which I guess means my lesson is over. Wow, I’m so not used to having such a lack of feedback! This instructor has no investment in teaching me at all. She probably never wanted to do a half lesson at 8 pm because I cannot understand why I’d be “taught” with such apathy unless she wants me to quit.

I put the horse away without a word, swept the aisle, and pulled her aside, handed her the money, and told her “I give up. I cannot ride this horse – apparently I’m not good enough.” She said, “Well maybe you just don’t fit with this horse – maybe you need to find another.” And I said, “Yes, and strangely, I’ve ridden many horses in my life and never had this problem.”

I wanted to say, “YOU SUCK” but I just couldn’t do it, I couldn’t be cruel to her. I wanted to say, “You have to share some of the blame for my lack of progress!” I did say, “I need to find a horse that is not a school horse, being ridden by different people every day.” But then I recall at another barn, I had a great time riding a very sensitive, light school horse. I just had to quit because they wouldn’t let me ride without side reins. Ugh.

So many barns, so many trainers, and nothing of quality. I recently tried to find a Phillipe Karl  or Branderup  trainer nearby and they are all over an hour away from me.

I cried again on the way home, thinking how this entire barn's opinion of me is the "brutal American" and how I failed at my attempt to ride the horse well, and teach him to be light. I thought of all the times people have said "You're a good rider" and how I always thought, "Well, in comparison to someone who doesn't know how to ride" but now I wonder. 

My husband consoles me that I’ll have my own horse soon, and I’ll be busy riding it. I just don’t know.