German riding stable secret shopper tests - "You must not come here to think."

Actually I cannot call these secret shopper, I think the riding instructors know that these ladies are from Cavallo magazine, reviewing their stable, horses, and training expertise.


I really enjoyed running these reports through Google Translate for you (and for me, horsey language is hard!). I want to say that I picked these at random, I did not seek out negative reviews (although bad news sells).

I want you to see how often the trainers are lazy schmucks, and how those poor school horses put up with their lives.

I hope you enjoy these excerpts. Remember, no censoring, just copy and pasting straight out of the review section of the magazine. These stables are all over Germany, I did not pick specific locations.

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While grooming, the 14-year-old is very friendly and cuddly. The gray mare puts her head in the crook of your arm and nudges me gently with her nose. The trainer comes by but does not check to see if the tack is correct. I lead the mare to the arena. The trainer hooks up the side reins. It would be better to warm up without them, oh well. We begin at the walk. The mare barely responds to driving aids. Also, she won’t bend to the right. The trainer says, “Every horse has a bad side” but doesn’t give any tip on how to work on that side effectively. She reacts better to the reins than the legs. She is on the bit and bends easily to one side without my asking. Down transitions are easy, only enthusiasm is lacking. By the end she needs a lot of leg to move forward. The trainer says, “It’s difficult, yes?” but gives no advice, how to make it easier. In the end she releases the side reins, and the mare promptly rips the reins out of my hands. The trainer gives equal attention to all riders on a large number of exercises. She emphasizes down transitions with breathing. But I am missing my seat correction, and tips for how to get the mare moving forward easier or bend her difficult direction. Overall the teaching lacks depth. I give her one star (of 3).

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We go into the arena and the trainer immediately gives me a whip, which I need. Jana is unresponsive to leg pressure. “Give her a warning, then smack her with the whip” says the trainer. In fact, this is the only method by which Jana is a little faster forward. For the trot, the crop will be even clearer. Canter only works when the trainer swings a lunge whip. When it rains on the roof, the mare calms quickly, she has good nerves. She is soft in the neck and back and can make good turns. She chews on the bridle, stretched forward and backward. Because of laziness and lack of enthusiasm, the pony gets 1 star. This advanced lesson is not very diverse, we work on walk, trot, and canter. We then do some trotting poles. The trainer says nothing for a long time, if the rider is on the wrong posting diagonal. The class remains superficial with no practical or theoretical corrections based on background knowledge. 

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While saddling, the horse jumps around, but isn’t mean.

The riding instructor, less than ideally, answers his cell phone and turns his back on me after I mount. Finally he says a tired, “Trot on” and sits down in a chair. He corrects my seat now and then, but I rarely get instructions/exercises from him.

After half an hour, we end the mostly silent lesson, for which I pay 32E.

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The warmblood mare is pretty, but doesn’t move forward and sticks her head up toward the ceiling. After 10 minutes the trainer  gave me a whip, and another 5 she gave me spurs. That is clever: first test my ability, then give me tools.

I give the horse one star (of 3) because a horse that doesn’t turn, bend, and won’t go forward is no joy for a fairly solid rider.

I give the instructor 2.5 stars, she lost the half because she’s too rough and yells loudly at riders in the hall.

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The school horse is good, but cannot be touched by anyone.

It was a trail-riding lesson and the only thing we heard from the trainer was, “Walk, trot, or gallop” but the horses just follow each other and do not react to leg or whip. From the instructor there is nothing, she looks back occasionally but there is no communication. We run up a steep hill, my horse gets violently out of breath. The spirits of the gelding awaken and he won’t slow down. Two in front of us are bucking and running away. The trainer should have asked, before accepting a new rider out on a trail ride. Since no teaching took place, the trainer gets no rating. When I take the saddle off, the leather dissolves from the cantle. I cannot find a body brush that is not broken. The stable gets a half star. (15E half hour group)

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The school horse is ticklish by saddling and lays her ears back. She bites the air. The trainer takes over the saddling and says, “She hasn’t bitten anyone yet, but I wouldn’t put my hand in the line of fire.” (20E 30 min lunge lesson)

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He’s an old hand, 21 years old, with a well-maintained dressage saddle. The sign on his box says, “Sometimes in a bad mood” and truly, he bit my arm on the way to the arena. After the warm up, the trainer attaches our side reins. She places great emphasis on fine hands and little action. Because he bites he is no beginner horse, but he’s sweet, as long as he doesn’t feel pressured. (30E one hour group)

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The gelding is 16HH and swaybacked, with little muscles on the spine. He’s been groomed already. He is saddled with a jumping saddle and bridle with Swedish noseband. In the arena the trainer sets my stirrups and helps me mount. He puts on the neck-lengthener (chambon?) but it was not necessary, it hangs down. I walk on a long rein. The trainer says I should not have to push him with each step, that he should be in front of me. He responded well to my legs. He’s trained to Dressage level A. He’s popular with the children because he is brave. Then we do lots of rising trot. The trainer says, “I’ve never ridden Godin, but he looks very uncomfortable to ride.” This is why I don’t have to sit the trot. The trainer watches for a correct seat, straight with a loose ankle, sitting deep when down transitioning. The trainer’s focus is the seat, thighs and yielding reins. The rider should keep his hands still, the outside hand leading. The trainer said he studied under Olympic champion Hubertus Schmidt. The circles are round, the rider should use the outer leg as a boundary, the outside rein can lead outside a little. The circles become better. Godin is not shaved and sweats. He’s not out of breath though, despite his age. His canter is as uncomfortable as his trot, so it’s easy to stay in the half-seat. The lesson didn’t just offer practical knowledge, but theoretical as well. The riding instructor took a good 60 minutes for the lesson, was extremely attentive and picked me up where I was. He gets 2.5 stars. The private lesson costs 40E but since the other rider did not show up, I only paid 16E.

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Saddles are shared here at the Icelandic stable. My girth is too short for my horse. The trainer comes over and puts the saddle forward until the girth can be stretched to fasten. When I mount, the saddle is not only too far forward, it is slipping. I fall to one side. The trainer said, “You’re not sitting crooked” although I can see in the mirror that I am. I shift my weight for so long until I sit straight. The trainer says my hands are too far apart. I ride on a long rein to warm up. Later she says my reins are too short, I should not hang onto his mouth. She asks me to ride forward and requests a light, strong hand. We do many circles and voltes to fix this. Nero goes directly behind the vertical. Trying to fix it, the gelding runs away. We finally slow down. Whether it was fear or the saddle, I cannot say. To get him to tolt, I have to increase my body tension, but Nero is lazy. I ask for a whip and receive a broken one. Nero tolts. The trainer is difficult to hear and understand, she gets a half star. A 60 min group lesson is 12,50E.

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Each horse has his own saddle and grooming tools. The 17HH Freddy is excited, taking everything in her mouth, nibbling and chewing. He shakes his head during grooming. While saddling he pins his ears but does not bite. In the hall, 10 riders mount. At 20X40 meters, it’s tight. We ride following each other in a long snake. The instructor gives different tasks and we form a single wavy line. Freddy leans on the side reins, in general, he’s tough on the hands. He responds to my legs, but is reluctant to turn. He gets a half star. The instructor taught little interaction. He does not say what is good or bad. The trainer makes excuses later, “With 10 people you just have to follow each other (Abteilung). You must not come here to think.” Feedback, corrections, and background information are missing. The horses only get turned out rarely. The group lesson for one hour is 18,50E.

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Pally is a 20-year old warmblood, 16HH. I find a vehicle tire innertube over his saddle. When I ask, the trainer says the students always saddle wrong, and the school horses get rubbed raw. The tire innertube as girth solves this problem. I’m flabbergasted. There should be more emphasis on students learning to saddle properly. In the warmup, Pally is stiff, awkward. The trainer tells me to fix my position. Pally ignores my leg unless I bang on him 3 times. The trainer tells me to take the reins, then give. Pally is stiff and I must push for each step. He gets one star. The trainer is average. I feel I was not met at my level. 30 minute private lesson costs 20E.

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Many boxes here are dirty and wet. I cannot find a clean straw in Vinci’s box. I find out that every Tuesday and Friday are stall cleaning days. The barn is pitch black and the stalls are tiny. Davinci is the biggest pony horse, but he doesn’t respond to my legs. He is considered a runaway. A novice should not sit on a horse that has such issues, even if I described myself advanced. But otherwise I like the way they teach 8-15 year old kids. We trot around very disciplined. I get seat adjustments, “elbow forward!” I give the trainer 2 stars. The lesson was only 11E.

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I ride English but wanted to try Western. The trainer shows me how to put a western saddle on. I’m taught that the Western horse must see the aids before executing a response. The horse must see my inside hand move left before I have to do anything else. I easily transpose the commands and forget I’m in a strange western saddle. I give clean aids which Joker follows easily. He seems uncomfortable but that is “because he’s Fresian” they say. 60 minutes 16E.

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Pasadena trudges with me friendly into the hall, but when riding, puts her head for 60 minutes into the sky. She has a wonderfully soft canter, but even with lots of turns I cannot get the Westphalian mare collected. For beginners she’s great, because she doesn’t spook. For advanced riders, there is no joy. After a ski accident I cannot bend my left knee, what the trainer noticed and criticized immediately. The other riders do very well, paying attention to each other in the arena. I give her 3 stars. The half hour group lesson costs 13E.

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I climb tensely onto the pretty white mare Lady. She shakes her head and is writhing like a worm beneath me. Her haunches swing both directions. The trainer calls, “If you lose your inside rein, you’ve lost.” Lady runs into the middle, hopping, and falls sideways unpleasantly. Only if I can stay calm and give proper support, can I get her on the right track. Cantering, I lose her collection, she does not respond to my aids. “You’re stuck” says the trainer. “Pay attention and support her. Stay loose.” She bucks and lays back her ears. I don’t give up. Lady is good but exhausting to ride. The trainer gave me good advice. As a newcomer I would have liked more help. I give the trainer 2 stars.

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