I don't even know her name, but I call her "that cool Aldi chick" - she's my checker and we seem to have bonded over the months I've lived here.I found her "good people" so I instantly started calling her "you."
I guess I should explain a quirk of the language in German - a concept that makes speaking German as a second language challenging - they still have a concept of "Thee" and "Thou" and use it in daily life.
The rules are complicated but basically you have to "Thou" someone if you are not family, or if the person is older than you are. If you guess to be about the same age, you stick with the formal language just in case. It is up to the older person to say, "Hey, let's use first names and you can call me 'you'!"
Here is a short, hilarious article explaining it better than I can.
***
After enjoying some good times, two of your colleagues that have worked with each other for the last 10 years might get brave, and one will ask the other one if they should start using du with each other, which is like the adult version of “Will you be my friend? Check yes or no.”
***
It's intimidating as an American. And like most students of German, we have a lot of trouble conjugating the plural informal of "you" - that's a nightmare. I just try to talk to people as individuals cuz otherwise I'll screw it up. In America, we say "You all" or "You guys" to differentiate the plural of you, don't we? My husband often says, "How do you ever know which "you" you are talking to if you don't have a singular or a plural version?" *sigh* I don't know, it's bewildering how the English language managed to survive.
So back at Aldi, about 6 months ago I slipped and called the cool chick "you" without thinking, just cuz *blush*, I like her. She's cool, hip, and in her 20s. She has a pet rat, I had a pet rat. Technically our age difference should allow that I say "you" to her, but it's not considered polite of me as she is an employee, and not some kid on a skateboard rolling by, popping ollies off of curbs.
I've been feeling odd and kind of guilty for 6 months, but I know as an Ami I get a little grace in my cultural faux pas.
Well today she said, "Thou haven't been in here for a while!" (That means a week, cuz shopping in Germany takes place every other day or more, due to dwarf-sized refrigerators.)
I said, "Who is Thou? Am *I* Thou?" (pointing to my chest)
She nodded.
I said, "No, I am you."
She nodded and smiled.
Whew, finally.
I skipped back to the car where my man was waiting as chauffer (long horrible spider story I should tell sometime, explaining why I cannot drive right now).
I said, "For the first time in 3 years I told someone to 'you' me! And I did it in a totally cool fashion!" (Everytime I've heard Germans do it, they use some fancy phrase for it that just doesn't roll off my tongue.)
"No, I am you."
*strut*
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14 comments:
Cool Lytha, :)
I have to admit, I had very interaction with the germans when we lived there. Most of my interactions were with the CSU's that my DH worked with.
Tara
I think it depends when you learned German, too. If you learn it in school in England, they use Du all the time, but I learned it mostly as an adult, so was taught the Sie form, and find it very hard to 'du' everything! BUT to my surprise, everyone I've met in Germany and hosted in England, is keen to be 'auf du' very quickly, including my sister in law very recently. I am always nervous as, like you, I don't want to 'du' people too soon, or do it to the wrong people!
Congrats on your new friend, "you" ! :)
Jason
Tara, I'm not sure what CSU is. Can you enlighten me?
Autumn Mist, That's not really fair to teach people the Du form in school cuz most of our interactions are with strangers, ya know? I am with you - I hesitate to Du someone even at an informal gathering (and I've found that if it's a clique gathering - horses, geocachers, they all assume the informal - isn't that odd? WHY?)
Jason, I resent that. We've never met! *rotfl!!!* And BTW, there is a discrepancy between friend and acquantaince here that did not exist for me in America. Friends are people you grew up with. Acquaintances are people you meet after that. Sucks to be me - I grew up in Seattle.
That is cool! thanks for the lesson in German etiquette.
They have Aldi in SE Kansas and I miss shopping there. It was so reasonable.
Lytha - I loved this post! I especially love the part when you go out to the car and tell your man that you just told someone to "you" you. That is hilarious! Having German only in a school setting - not in Germany - I never got the full implication of the Sie vs. du. I love the slight nuances of words being able to indicate the intimacy of friendships. And that article with the part about the adult version of "will you be my friend?" Thanks for cracking me up laughing - I can't wait to hear the spider story!
Haha; congrats!
I always try to write letters to relatives and friends in Germany and just end up giving up because I can't figure out the whole "you" theory.
When I was learning in the classroom, we used Du with each other, but Sie when talking to the teacher or in most lessons. You're always safe with Sie, and is easier when trying to remember the correct conjugation of the verbs.
CSU's Are German nationals who work on the base. Not sure if they are also called that for anyof the other jobs, but that was what they were called working the job there that my DH did.
The plural of you is clearly yall. It feels extremely awkward to me to say "you" and hope that the context makes it clear that i mean "you plural." Yall is much more sensible.
I'm glad you have an official du-friend!!
I liked Sie because I thought it was much easier to get the endings right with Sie. ;)
aaww what a great post!!! I ahe a coool Aldi chick too..took me 3 friggin years to get a smile out of her and now she screams hello to me from across the room..lol
The friend thing is the same here. They keep their friends from childhood and very rarely let anyone else in.
That's a curious habit.
In the Balkans it was more difficult. It was practically obligatory to call everyone 'Mr X' or 'Mrs Y' even if neighbours or employees. It was necessary always for the younger person to greet the older first (leading to rapid estimates of age as one approached someone of similar longevity) and the person in the street to greet the person on his property. One had to know the profession of everyone who possessed a special skill or position so as to call them 'Mr Engineer' or 'Mrs Schoolteacher', etc. This protocol had to be followed even when completely drunk, which (oddly) was perfectly acceptable socially. I did allow myself the liberty of not addressing strictly correctly any neighbours who I found unconsious in the ditch outside my house on a Sunday morning.
So you have it (relatively) easy in Germany!
Pretty cool :)
And while I'm learning Greek not German I can SO relate!! lol
In Greek there is me, you , he/she/it, us, you plural and them.
Which one you use depends on how formal/polite the situation is. For example if I was speaking to you and was trying to be polite (ie if we were strangers) I would use the plural you even if it was just YOU Lytha, not Lytha and someone else, that I was talking to. And depending on the situation it can get even 'fancier' Good grief! lol
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