Horsefeed marketers that insult my intelligence

Marketers will attack all of us without reservation, and horse owners are particularly susceptible to their Quatsch (BS), because we love to buy things for our horses.

I got my first horse catalog in the mail this week. It's Germany's equivalent of Stateline Tack, it's called Kraemer (they're online too, if you're curious about these things).

Before they insulted me, I was tickled by the specialty sections that we usually don't have in our magazines. There is an entire section on tack for draft horses. Cute!

A huge pony section, that's not so strange, but then there is a big Halflinger section, so your Halflinger can be appropriately attired with Austria's edelweiss flower, the breed's logo. Cute!


Then there is a big Islandic section, cuz there are millions of Islandics in Europe. In this section you can buy special weights to strap on their feet, to encourage them to tolt better. 200 or 300 gram weightbands to get your Islandic to really get his front legs up. Hm.




If you have a spanish horse, you can buy stuff in Spain's colors. I think that's cool. If you have an Arab, you're outta luck, there is no Arab section.





I had to take a photo of the barn supply section, cuz the number 1 item for cleaning up poop, I've never seen before coming to Germany. This two-peice system is really great for cleaning poop out of your long pasture grass. What on earth do Americans use to clean poop out of their pastures? I mean out of the roughs where horses poop? I can't picture it. Help me think of it!?



I found it interesting that in the middle of the Western section, which is obviously full of American-based stuff, they have a little row of products like Show Sheen and Neatsfoot Oil. Apparently this is the "Imported from America" section, cuz those products had no rhyme or reason being there. (There is a mane and tail care section later, without Show Sheen.)




Then I came to the "First Aid - Barn Pharmacy" section (that is what *they* call this section). What could I buy if my horse hurts himself......what? No medicine? No. You are not allowed to buy medicine of any kind in Germany without visiting a vet. All I've seen in tack stores, and all they sell in this catalog, are herbal remedies. Oh, for a bottle of Nolvassen.




Then I came to this item, several times, actually, and I have no idea what it is. Please, what is this!?!?!? Something to do with a bridle, but what?









Then I see that in addition to buying normal horse treats, you can buy a bucket of ....carrots? For more than they cost at the grocery store? *shakeshead*






Then I came to the part that insulted my intelligence. First I'll say I've seen this before - in a feed brochure, a feed I am currently using, in fact. I'm feeding the "Equine Maintenance" variety, cuz my horse is not a performance horse. But here, they have a variety for performance horses, called "Turnier". Good.




But then, oh no, what's this? A variety for Western performance? no, no, no.







The catalog offers the same nonsense, with a different brand of feed. They offer normal performance feed, and then a variety called Western, for horses who carry western saddles, I suppose. (Western riding is becoming popular in Germany.) But wait, there's more. They also offer a feed specifically for Jumping horses, (called "Springen" in German), and look, there's one in case you don't jump, but do Dressage. What must one do if one rides both Dressage and Jumping? Obviously you must buy both, and feed only the food on a particular day based on what saddle you put on your horse that day. If you did both, you must carefully mix the two, with amounts that match how many minutes of each discipline you rode that day. It would be easiest for you if you ride exactly the same length of time both jumping and dressage in each day, then you can mix the feeds 50/50. Your horse will look at his meal funny if you try to slip him the Western mix. I understand certain disciplines require certain nutrient balances. But that is just ridiculous.